And she’s back! Check out some advice from our campus’ resident Dear Abby. Having trouble with your significant other? Wondering if Butler is really the place to be during midterms (aka: all semester)? We know one person who’s ready to answer all that and more!
1. I saw that my bf’s top insta searches were “#hotgirls, #girls, @kyliejenner.” What do I do now?
Well first things first, boys are dumb. Please remind your boyfriend that he is not a rapper and therefore he should leave Kylie alone–she’s not interested. If he is going to be snookin’ for love on the interwebs, then he should at least have more realistic goals. Maybe suggest a D-list celebrity to him? Does anyone know if Zenon, Girl of the 21st Century, has a Facebook?
2. How do I find a Jewish girlfriend?
HAHA, Jewish girls are soo hard to find on this campus, right? But seriously, whoever said, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” was one, an idiot, and two, actually just talking about Jewish girls like myself. Jewesses just really like food, okay? In conclusion, if you bake me a cake, I’m yours forever.
3. I want to visit my friends at other schools, but midterms are never-ending. How do I make time to visit other places?
Simple answer: You don’t…make them come to you! That way you don’t have to waste time or money on travel, and your friends get to live it up in the “concrete jungle where dreams are made of,” as Tyler Perry’s Madea once said.
4. I know everyone says there are tons of libraries to choose from on this campus, but I only hear about one: Butler. Where else can I get work done on campus or even off?
The only reason people are obsessed with Butler is because it’s more of a social club than a library. People socialize, flirt, and procrastinate until 4:00 AM, just so they can impress all their friends with a time-stamped Snapchat in the wee hours of the morning. If you actually wanted to do work, you’d be more efficient squatting in the center of the 24-hour Duane Reade on 111th.
In my humble opinion, NoCo (North Campus) library is where it’s at! You’ll get plenty of work done because it’s all engineers who are dead silent (and probably using Morse code to communicate with one another). NoCo has a lot of natural light, which makes it easier to trick yourself into believing you’re not in a prison of your worst nightmares. Happy studying, children!
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* This article is a personal piece and does not reflect the views of Her Campus Barnard or Her Campus Media. *