It’s getting colder ladies and in girl world that roughly translates to *snuggle weather.* However, before you hop on the boyfriend bandwagon, make sure you don’t let the boys get the best of you. If you find yourself staring at your cell phone screen trying to decide what to reply to the “lol” that took him four hours to type, do yourself a favor and check this list of texts he will send you that aren’t worth your time.
When He Needs Something
You’re at Newk’s with your girls eating a large pizza that everyone individually Instagrammed. (It’s acceptable if you all use different filters, right?) Two notifications pop up on your phone: your crush liked your pizza pic and there’s a text from him. You open it excitedly to see a blue bubble that says “Bring me some.” The only proper response to something like this is to laugh very loudly and DO NOT REPLY. As a general rule, never give him what he wants if he only contacts you when he wants or needs something.
Anything After Midnight
This rule should be common sense. If a boy is asking you to “Netflix and chill” or do any kind of “hanging out” he can come up with at midnight or later, he does not miss your company, he wants to hook up. This is not nice boyfriend behavior. If you give in now, you are likely to be labeled as a fling. Now, if that’s what you want from this particular boy then by all means girl, go get it! Just keep in mind that it’s near to impossible to go from the hookup to the girlfriend in the male mind.
Haha, lol, K, Alrighty
Are you kidding me? These are possibly the rudest replies that a person could send, short of straight up cyber bullying. The amount of feigned interest held in the three letters of one single “lol” is palpable. The same half-hearted BS is in every one word reply. If he answered you with one word, he is not feeling your conversation, and therefore you shouldn’t be either.
Emoji Replies
This is even worse than a one word reply, because it’s just WEIRD. What sort of reply is not even a reply, but a graphic of smiling poop? If you’re guilty of this yourself, please stop now.
Agreeable but Uninterested Sentences
This is the polite reply. If a guy is answering all your texts like this, he isn’t interested. Sure, he doesn’t want to be rude and ignore you. He has the decency not to “K” you, but if you tell him a story about your five french bulldogs and he replies, “Yeah dogs R cool,” then quit while you’re ahead and cut your losses.
Not Meant for You
This is just sad. I know you can probably talk yourself into thinking that a text clearly meant for someone else is a great opportunity for you to spark up a conversation, but it isn’t. That is called desperate. Wait until the text is directed at you to reply.
Unwanted and Awkward Pics
It’s happened to all of us. I will never understand how some guys think the way to a woman’s heart is a very random, oddly angled picture of their disco sticks. Do not reply out of principle. However, if you MUST reply, “Is that it?” is acceptable.
Snapchats Without Purpose
Snapchat is my preferred method of communication, but just because you can send pictures of anything and everything with no context does not mean you should. What was that? A Snapchat of a ceiling fan? An old natty light can? Cool bruh. I wasn’t that into you before, but now that I’ve seen your wide ranging photography skills, I’m overcome with lust. Snapchats like these are flashing neon signs that he is boring beyond repair. Avoid at all costs.