How You Know You Grew Up In an African Home
- The ice cream tub is never ice cream
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- Exercise was not optional
- Religious practises are non-negotiable
- Sleepovers are mythical, unless they know your friends’ parents really well.
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- “Clubbing and nights-out” are not real words
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- Anything can be turned into a weapon for discipline matters
- You learn to clean before you learn to talk
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- Your parents are technically Demi-Gods, if they say the sky is pink then the sky is pink
- Crying is strategic, not emotional
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- You can’t date until you’re married
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- Anything less than an A is a fail
- You’re career options are quite limited
- Everyone older than you is introduced as auntie or uncle
- Best way to commit suicide is yelling, slamming a door or rolling your eyes at your parents
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- As an adult, you realise that your childhood would have made a really good comedy show.
Note: This article is NOT a stereotype on all African families. With such a diverse range of Africans, it’s hard to compartmentalize African characteristics into one box. This list is simply my experience and stories my friends have shared with me.