As the Summer 2012 Olympic Games are upon us, we can’t help but let our minds wander to the excitement in London (and of course, to all of the lovely six-pack abs they provide for our viewing entertainment). They may be the best in the world, but the athletes we cheer for on screen aren’t so different from us everyday collegiettes when it really comes down to it. Between their passion plays, their power plays, and even their naughty play (we’ll get to that later!), the men and women who are going for gold this year teach us a few winning love lessons, champion-approved.
Love Lesson 1: There’s No “I” in Team
Did you think the U.S.’s women’s soccer team won gold in 2008 without knowing how to work as a team? Of course not! When it comes to teamwork, these ladies are the authority – without trust, communication, and support for one another, the team would never have scored a single goal, let alone a medal.
Okay, so you and your guy don’t exactly make up an entire soccer team, but relationship expert and author of Secrets of Happy Couples Kim Olver insists that teamwork is just as “critical” for a healthy relationship as it is for a gold-standard team. “When we get into a relationship with someone,” Olver explains, “we’re actually testing out what it’s like to be interdependent. [The couple] will in fact function as a team, and if one or both team members aren’t holding up their end, then things can really fall apart.”
According to Olver, collegiettes and their man candy have to develop the trust necessary for teamwork in the same way that the Olympic teams do: the hard way. “Time is a very crucial factor in trust, as is pressure,” she says. “Things can go very well under normal circumstances, but have a critical incident and the person may behave in a way that they could never think that they would behave because it’s an unusual circumstance.” Teamwork takes time, and it takes a lot of missed passes (or huffy arguments, if you will) before you can get into a long-term rhythm, but it’s worth the effort. To speed things up (and to avoid as many missed passes as possible), Olver suggests transparency: be yourself and be honest with your guy, and encourage him to do the same. The next time you have an argument about something, ask him what he would have liked you to have done differently and why (and vice versa!) so that you can figure out where the disconnect is and work on a compromise for next time. The better you get to know your teammate, the better you’ll be able to anticipate and understand his thoughts so that you can work together to solve problems (and score goals, of course).
Love Lesson 2: Don’t Count Out the Underdog
When you look at Michael Phelps, you immediately see “Olympian”: he’s tall, he’s got arms to rival oars, and he’s built of solid muscle (or so we like to imagine). He’s the ideal swimmer in every way, so it’s not surprising that he’s got sixteen Olympic medals under his belt/speedo. Appearing to be the perfect Olympian doesn’t necessarily make you a gold-medalist, though; in the 2002 Winter Olympic Games in Salt Lake City, short track speed skater Steven Bradbury proved that even the underdog can come out on top. Bradbury, then 29, just barely squeaked through the first two rounds of the 1,000-meter event before facing the best of the best, all of whom happened to be younger, faster, and better-ranked than he was. Despite the disadvantage, Bradbury crossed the finish line first. Sure, the three opponents ahead of him all crashed… but that comes with the territory in speed skating, and this underdog had the strategy, skill, and smarts to stay on his feet for the win.
Moral of the story? A guy doesn’t have to come off as a winner at first glance in order to be one! And if there’s anything we collegiettes have learned from our experiences with some of the bro-iest, big-man-on-campus types, it’s that the hottest or most sought-after guys don’t always turn out to be Boyfriends of the Year. (Understatement of the year?)
Shaye, a rising junior at the Fashion Institute of Technology, says that we should start looking for guys outside of the spotlight, for the ones who might not register on our dating radar right away: the underdogs. “The last boy I dated for an extended period of time was different than my normal picks – he was the underdog. The ‘math tutor’ type. But I loved it. In my eyes he was the cutest and sweetest person. Things were short-lived, but he changed my views on who I go for… Lately I’ve been going for the underdog and I think that every girl should give this guy a try.”
If you’re not finding what you’re looking for already, you might not be looking in the right places. Open your eyes up to the guys who didn’t make your heart skip a beat at first sight – Mr. Nice Guy might just win you over on the second try!
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Love Lesson 3: Pair Up
If you turn on your underdog searchlights and still don’t find Mr. Right, it might be time for you to follow in the footsteps of Olympic skaters: turn to online dating! It seems like a foreign concept amidst the college culture of bar hook-ups and lecture hall flirting, but if it weren’t for online match-up sites like IcePartnerSearch.com, which feature profiles of skaters seeking partners, a lot of our favorite skating duos would never have paired up. Or, in the case of Melissa Gregory and Denis Petukhov, shacked up. The two found each other in 2000 after looking for skating partners online; by early 2001, they were married! To prove their status as a Grade-A overachieving couple, the partners/lovers went on to win four silver medals and two bronze at the U.S. Championships in 2002 and to compete in the 2006 Winter Olympics.
A partner match-up site isn’t much different than an online dating site (and it clearly leads to similar results!). Joe Tracy, publisher of and columnist for Online Dating Magazine, says that online dating is a good option for college women because it “gives [them] the ability to meet people with the same interests, values, activity levels, etc. as [they] do” rather than having to stick around for a few dates before finding out the guy is a dud. “We find that college students use sites like Match.com more than they use sites like eHarmony.com [www.eharmony.com] because they’re still more interested in the casual dating than in serious dating,” Tracy explains. “Don’t set expectations too high and just have fun with it. It’s a really fun medium to meet new people, and as long as you don’t take it too seriously or have too high expectations, you could really meet a lot of new and cool people, and potentially find that one who’s a perfect match for you.” If you’re ready to bring your flirting into cyberspace, check out Her Campus’s Logging in for Love: 5 Steps to Online Dating Success for more Olympics-worthy tricks and tips from Joe Tracy and other experts!
Love Lesson 4: Win Over the Crowd (and the Sponsors)
Where would our favorite Olympians be without us cheering them on from the stands or without the sponsors supporting them from behind the curtain? Usain “Lightning” Bolt, three-time Olympic gold medalist sprinter, proves that earning the love of the fans can go a long way… all the way to the bank, to be exact. Puma was so impressed by Bolt’s out-of-this-world performance at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing (and the international media frenzy it earned him) that the company offered Bolt the largest athletic sponsorship deal ever made, somewhere around a casual $32.5 million.
Think of your guy’s family and friends as the crowd and the sponsors. Sure, they might not supply you with enough money to buy yourself a private island (or two), but without their support, you and your man might never even get to take your relationship to the Big Leagues. “It can help the relationship if you have a positive rapport with the friends and family,” Olver explains, “because without that, it just adds stress to the relationship.” An added bonus: if you and your guy hit a rough patch, you’ll cash in on the support you’ve earned – chances are they’ll remind him of how great you are and how perfect you are together, happily ever after, ta-da! Works like magic.
So how can you win over the crowd? Olver advises, “Don’t try to be someone you’re not to impress his family. Just be who you are and they probably will like you. If they don’t like you, just be as cordial and polite and as nice as you can be; don’t try to make it an argument or make your guy choose, ‘It’s them or me’ – that would be a very destructive thing to do.”
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Love Lesson 5: Learn from Your Mistakes
No Olympian ever made it to the Games without tripping on the track, falling off the beam, or jumping the gun at least once in her career. Mistakes are just a part of the job description when it comes to athletics (or anything, really), but what separates an Olympian from an everyday sportsman is the ability to look at the mistake, figure out what went wrong, and try harder than anything to make sure it never happens again (though we’re sure they occasionally still prefer grabbing a consolation ice cream cone and calling it a day, #desperatetimes). Alicia Sacramone, an American artistic gymnast, made some of the biggest mistakes you can make in the Olympic realm: while competing in the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, Sacramone fell during both the floor and beam events, costing the U.S. Team the gold medal. Shortly after, Sacramone announced her retirement. But the Olympian didn’t give up; in 2009, she came out of retirement and proceeded to win medals in both the U.S. and World Championships. This year, Sacramone failed to make it past the Olympic Trials because of the toll surgeries had taken on her body, but her performance proved she’s learned a thing or two since Beijing and isn’t giving up any time soon.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try again!” says Kelsey Mulvey, a rising junior at Boston University. “It’s incredible how determined Olympic athletes are [when it comes to] their sport – a minor mess up isn’t going to stop them from their goal. So why should it be any different with boys?”
Olver agrees. “It’s critically important when a relationship ends (whether you end it or the other person ends it) to really look at the lesson or the gift in the ending of this relationship… to look at the role you played in the dissolution of the relationship, and [to] find out how can you prevent that from happening again on your part.” Unfortunately for us (and fortunately for the chocolate companies), break-ups happen. When they do, take stock of what went wrong and what you want to be different the next time around – then make it happen! Get back on that beam, girl!
Love Lesson 6: Safety First
It’s no secret that Olympians are physical wonders, which means it’s no secret that when these athletes come together in London’s Olympic Village, sparks (and clothes) will fly… kind of like they do during the first few weeks of freshman year. With dorm-style rooms (outfitted with two single beds) and around 7,000 young athletes, coaches, and trainers out and about, the Olympic atmosphere isn’t that much different from the college atmosphere. To prepare for the impending village-cest, Vancouver (the host of the 2010 Winter Olympics), provided a whopping – wait for it – 100,000 condoms to its Olympic Village. (See? We told you we’d get to the naughty play part!) In 2000, Sydney had estimated that 70,000 would do the trick for its perfectly muscled guests, but after experiencing a major “uh-oh” moment when they realized there weren’t enough, they casually ordered 20,000 more. Take a cue from these Olympic athletes and play it safe, people!
The Olympics are all about playing with heart, so it’s no surprise that these athletes know a thing or two about love. You may not get the gold every time, but these love lessons might just earn you and your guy a spot on the podium!
Photo sources:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/georgie_grrl/4369573561/
http://www.berkeassessment.com/blog/2011/09/22/crossing-the-finish-line/
http://www.midlifebachelor.com/articles/howtowriteanonlinedatingprofile….
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/47388585/ns/today-relationships/t/-second-…