Straight from the Horse's Mouth: Real Guys Weigh in on the Guy Advice You're Getting
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
By
At the risk of sounding like a second-grader, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. But this elementary school adage can still feel like it holds true ten years later on a college campus.
So when we finally understand (or, at least think we understand) how the male brain operates or the reasons behind a guy’s actions, we turn to our best girlfriends to share the knowledge. Before you know it, we’re flooded with nuggets of guy advice from a plethora of sources—magazines, movies, friends, moms, sisters, even some guy friends—to the point that some of it starts to conflict. Helping you weed the good from the bad, Her Campus had five real guys weigh in on the guy advice you’ve been receiving. With their input, we’ll know what advice to follow…and which to ditch.
Appearance ABC’s
- THE ADVICE: Wear your hair long and straight to have more guys hit on you.
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WHAT HE SAYS: “Not necessarily the straight hair, but shoulder-length or longer is good in my book,” says Steve Cavolo, a graduate student at Kent State University in Ohio. As to why, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. (But Gerard Butler’s character in his 2009 film, The Ugly Truth, suggests it’s because “men need something to grab onto other than your arse.”) Basil Pinzone, a junior at Penn State University, likes the lengthier hair, too. But don’t hide your bob cut or curls under a brown paper bag just yet—Basil has friends who would prefer short hair to long.
- THE ADVICE: Apply your makeup light and sparingly, for a natural look—guys don’t like to see girls’ makeup.
- WHAT HE SAYS: Too true. “I like it when my girlfriend looks good, but you can’t really tell she has lots of makeup on,” says Nick Orichella, a junior at University of Michigan. He says he likes being able to compliment her on how she looks, but heavy eyeliner and heavy makeup are no-nos.
Double Whammies: Conflicting Advice
- THE ADVICE: Play hard to get. VERSUS: if you like a guy, be straightforward—call him.
- WHAT HE SAYS: “Don’t make it harder for me than it already is by acting disinterested,” says Dan Bencic, a junior studying accounting at Ohio State University. Working up the confidence to ask you out takes a lot of effort and confidence. If the girl remains aloof and ‘hard to get,’ “I’ll doubt how well it’s going,” he says.
- “Just coming out and saying, ‘I like you’—sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t,” Basil says. His tip: If you’re interested, “be flirty and give some signals so he knows you’re interested,” like sitting on his lap or laughing at his jokes.
- THE ADVICE: Offer to pay the bill after an evening out. VERSUS: have him pay for the date.
- WHAT HE SAYS: “Call me old-fashioned, but the guy should pay,” Dan says. And Steve agrees, though he adds that it’s always a nice gesture for the girl to offer. When you’ve been dating for a while, it’s more socially acceptable for a girl to contribute to the check.
- THE ADVICE: Let him be the first one to bring up going exclusive. VERSUS: if you like the guy, go for it.
- WHAT HE SAYS: The guy should make the first move to only seeing each other, Steve says. But ultimately, it depends on the type of guy. “I think some guys are naturally shy and wouldn’t want to bring up an uncomfortable subject with someone they’re just getting to know, so they may need a nudge,” he explains. But for a girl in a dating situation that consists of only ritual weekend hook-ups, he suggests that the girl bring it up—the guy’s probably pretty satisfied by having the best of both worlds: casual sex with no strings.
- At the same time, University of Notre Dame junior Patrick McDonnell supports ladies who are a little more forward: “If you’ve been casually dating for a little while and you really like him, it’s not bad to bring it up.”
About the Author
Biography
Kathleen Corlett studies magazine journalism at Syracuse University (Class of 2011), with a minor in nutrition. That said, writing and editing for SU’s What the Health magazine seemed like an appropriate fit, and she is currently a senior editor. Additionally, Kathleen volunteers at the Interreligious Food Consortium, redesigning the local nonprofit’s communication systems through the student group comm.UNITY. Other interests include scrapbooking, cooking, playing the clarinet in the marching band, swing-dancing, stuffing bears for pocket money at Build-a-Bear Workshop, and honing her goalie skills (or lack thereof) on a just-for-fun intramural floor hockey team. This past summer she stayed close to home interning at Cleveland Magazine, but next summer she hopes to take a bite out of the Big Apple.
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Comments
My on-and-off boyfriend and I of 5 years broke up at the beginning of the summer. It was the longest we had gone without talking and it was the only time we broke up that I honestly thought we would not get back together. I took the wrong approach in attempting to get over him... I thought maybe if I had a "rebound hook up" it would stop me from loving him so much. So I tried it and it didn't work. So it tried it again, and again, and again. I think you get the picture. We got back together in November and things are much different now… they’re going extremely well. However, for some reason there is still one hook up from this summer that I can’t get off my mind. I constantly delete this guys number from my phone, but he’ll still text me a couple times a week. I sometimes text him back, but have made him aware I have a boyfriend now and am not single anymore. Despite this he has been quite persistent.
I could never live with myself if I cheated on my boyfriend, but I don't know how to get this other guy off my mind. I don't believe that I have strong enough feelings for this other guy to merit breaking up with my boyfriend because I don't know him well enough, but I still feel like I'm cheating on my boyfriend just by thinking about this other guy so much. I have been thinking about asking to meet up with this other guy JUST to talk because I feel the way things were left in August I still had questions and that is possibly a cause for why I think about him so much. BUT I don't want to be shady and make it seem like I am cheating on my boyfriend. I just think that talking it out would prevent a physical encounter with this other guy, which I would like to avoid at all costs because I plan on being with my boyfriend for a very long time and would hate to see it end because of my own stupidity. I'm so lost with the correct action to take in this mess of a situation. What do I do?
Kathleen corlett! i was wondering why all of the boys being interviewed were people i know until i looked at the author! great article :D
I really liked this article. It was cute and fun to read. Thanks for writing about it because I definitely will remember these the next time I'm with the guy I like. :)
I really liked how this article dispelled some myths about masculinity and getting girls. I used to think that balling on the streets and getting in fights would attract women. But after talking to my cousin Carlton, I learned that my dance moves really weren't that good!
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