There are so many little things that can negatively affect your relationship with your boyfriend. From a busy schedule to a packed social calendar, there’s no telling what speed bumps you’ll encounter along the way. However, sometimes there are relationship dilemmas that you can see coming. What do you do then? How do you prepare for them so that you can save your relationship? Her Campus has the answers!
You Have a Super Busy Upcoming Schedule
There are always certain periods of time that seem to be busier than others – right before any breaks from school, finals week, recruitment, midterms, etc. And sometimes that craziness becomes extended. Maybe you’re taking the max amount of credit hours possible next semester while also starting a part-time job and juggling an internship. Whatever the case, you’re going to be busy, and you know that your relationship will suffer because of it. So what’s a girl to do?
- Plan Ahead: It sounds lame, but putting together a detailed calendar (down to each half hour) will really help you manage your time. Plan out when you’ll be able to see your boyfriend.
- Make Him Aware: Don’t just suddenly start being incredibly busy, or he will be upset. Let him know as soon as you know that you’re going to have a crazy schedule so it’s going to be tough to see each other as often as you’re used to.
- Make Him Feel Special: By showing him how much you care about him in the weeks that you still have free time, he will be more comfortable with seeing you less.
- Plan Something Really Special: Pick a weekend night or a day you can take off from your responsibilities, and plan something really fun for the two of you. Go to a concert, have a picnic, get a hotel room for the night and swim in the pool… whatever it is, make sure it’s something you can both look forward to.
He Has A Super Close Girl Friend
It’s only natural for your boyfriend to have friends that aren’t you. Yeah, it’s not fun when they’re girls, but you have to accept it. Except… there’s one girl in particular you really have a problem with. Maybe she’s always liked him, or they’re super close, or she’s just too flirty for your liking. You know that a major blowup is coming, and you don’t want to drive your boyfriend away by banning him from seeing his friend. So what’s a girl to do?
- Let Him Know: It’s not fair if you passive-aggressively get upset every time he spends time with her so tell him that you’re uncomfortable with their relationship.
- Tell Him You Trust Him: So long as this is true, you should tell him that you trust him, you just don’t want to share him with anyone else and you feel like that’s what’s happening.
- Plan a Group Hangout: Plan a time when the three of you (or more) can all get together so you can start to establish a relationship with her and feel comfortable with her spending time with your boyfriend.
- Grab Coffee With Her: This doesn’t have to be weird – ask if she wants to meet up for coffee or something equally low-key after class one day. If she seems confused, explain that since your boyfriend is so close to her, you figured you should get to know her, too!
You’re About To Be Apart For An Extended Period of Time
There are plenty of reasons why you and your boyfriend may be apart for an extended period of time. It’s possible that you’re from different hometowns and will head home on breaks, you have an internship in a different city during the summer, you’re studying abroad, etc. The only good part about being long-distance is that you can plan for it – you know it’s coming! So what’s a girl to do?
- Set Up Skype Accounts: If you don’t have one already, now is the perfect time to create a Skype account so you can video chat with your boyfriend while the two of you are apart.
- Update Your Cell Phone Plans: Make sure that you have enough minutes, texts and possibly international calling so that you can stay in touch with each other while you’re apart.
- Plan a Trip: If possible, plan a time to see each other while you’re apart so that each of you has something to look forward to.
- Make a Scrapbook: Put together a book of photos and memories for your boyfriend so that he has something to look at every time he misses you, which will be all the time!
One Of You Is Graduating
Graduation is an exciting time in anyone’s life, but it can be a difficult transition for a couple. One of you is staying, and the other is moving on, but that doesn’t mean your relationship with each other has to end. Your schedules, time spent together, free time, attitudes, etc. will all probably change. The only thing that won’t (hopefully) is your commitment to each other. So what’s a girl to do?
- Have a Talk: Since one of you is making a huge change, it’s probably time to have an honest discussion about where you see your relationship going in the future.
- Be Supportive: Whether you’re the one graduating or he is, be happy! You will resent each other if this exciting time is only marked by sadness and arguments in your relationship.
- Include Each Other: It may seem as though you’re on completely different pages during this time, but it doesn’t have to be that way! Include each other in making grad party plans, choosing what to wear under your gown, which jobs to apply for, etc.
- Lean On Each Other: While graduation is exciting, it’s also scary. Be there for each other when you’re nervous about being apart, worried about finding a job, scared about the unknown, etc. It’ll make you stronger as a couple.
You Have A Packed Social Calendar
College life can get pretty crazy with the parties, the socials, the pre-games, etc. There is seemingly a party for everything, and it can get really busy. Even more so, you probably have to deal with your friends complaining that they don’t see you as much now that you have a boyfriend. You start to make plans with your friends on a more regular basis and before you know it, you barely have time for your boyfriend anymore. So what’s a girl to do?
- Plan Group Events: If you want to see both your friends and your boyfriend, plan events that everyone can go to. Tell your boyfriend to bring his friends too, and everyone will be happy. Just make sure you don’t spend every second of the night on your boyfriend’s arm.
- Operate On An ‘Every Other’ Schedule: For a little while, try to do Friday nights with your friends and Saturday nights with your boyfriend or vice versa. If this is too much to coordinate, then spend time with your boyfriend during the day or make it a point to grab lunch or dinner during the week. Seeing each other a little more here or there will make a huge difference.
- Make Your Time Special: We all have a tendency to spend time with people we’re comfortable with watching TV, catching up on Facebook, taking a nap, etc. We aren’t actually connecting with them. When you’re with your boyfriend, do something fun together so you actually feel like you spent some time together. That way, next time you can’t be together, you won’t feel like it’s been ages since you’ve seen each other.
There are plenty of situations that come up in a relationship, and some that are tough to handle. But if you anticipate these dilemmas, then you’ll be able to save your relationship before you even have a problem. Good luck, collegiettes!