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Real Live College Guy Sean: Our Date Went Well, But Now I Haven’t Heard From Him

Posted Dec 26 2012 - 7:00pm

Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up, or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!

I have been texting this guy for about a month and we have been getting to know each other. We met up for a date this weekend I felt like it was a good date. After the date there were no texts and I even sent him a thank you message for taking me out. Usually we would text every night. Does this silence mean he doesn't want to continue with me? It's been three days since the date. Shouldn't he at least send me a message saying that it won't work out so that I can move on? - Huh? At Hamilton

Dear Huh?

I have to commend you for sending out a text because I wish more women would do it. I know that after a first date, getting a text that expresses how she felt about our time together makes my night. I light up inside, but I’m a dork (and now that I look like a complete sap, let’s move on to the issue at hand).

Despite what movies and TV shows may claim, there is no general guideline for how long you should wait before contacting a woman. After a date, I personally wait until the next morning to send a thank you text. For some mysterious reason, these and “good morning” texts drive the ladies wild (imagine me saying that in your best McLovin’ voice).

For some guys though, sending a text to express displeasure with a date is uncomfortable. They just can’t man up and communicate. So rather than taking the time to acknowledge their date and merely inform them that they simply didn’t feel a connection, some dudes will just say nothing. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, yes, but telling her is simply the right thing to do.

Even if the chemistry just wasn’t there, any normal guy would have at least responded to your text. Unless you attacked him with your silverware or hit on the waiter all night, there is no reason for him not to text you. For you to go out of your way to break the silence is pretty courageous. It’s just really unfortunate that this dude is spineless and can’t swallow his pride long enough to tell you what’s up. The date could have been worse.

Despite texting nightly, things may have changed for him when you sat down for a formal date. I can think of several times where I’ve been texting a girl for a while before asking her out. She may have seemed like she was right for me, but when we were actually out to dinner or apple picking (in my opinion, the best date idea), things just weren’t right. However, I’d never ignore a text from her.

I’d move on from this guy. Regardless of what the silence means, you need to think about your own needs. Think of it this way: if this guy isn’t comfortable telling you how he feels about your date, he simply isn’t worth dating, period. From what I can gather, you seem like the kind of girl who takes initiative in relationships. This is a most sought-after trait for many college guys. Move on to someone who’s willing to communicate, put aside his pride, and put you first.

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