Usually I dole out Love advice in my column but this week the HC Editors asked me to weigh in on fashion. At first I couldn’t understand why. But then they told me they wanted me to weigh in on fashion from a guy’s point of view… now it makes more sense. Girls seem to wear a lot of the strangest things, and for most guys many of these things just don't make any sense. I am going to attempt to outline the most baffling female style choices. It's not that we don't get it, because trust me, we get it. It’s just that we don't understand how or why that style ever happened.
Guys have a problem with them. Yes they make sense and look cute in the winter, but it seems like they have become common in a whole range of inappropriate situations. Please stop wearing them as pants. They are not pants, they are meant to go under a skirt when it’s cold. Pants don't allow us to see your underwear or the shape of your thong. Thus, don't wear tights like pants. Also, tights under skirts don't make it any less obvious that you are actually wearing very short skirts. So often, girls wear a shirt as a dress and tights underneath as if that was okay. Go to your closet now and decide which of your tops are dresses and which are shirts. Don't consider what goes beneath. Would you wear that “shirt” without the tights? Seriously, we can usually still see the bottom of your behind under the tights. If you're looking to have some fun one night, put on the short skirt and tights and make the guys ogle (is that even a word). If you want to find someone serious, please remember you are showing a lot of upper leg (the tights aren't changing anything). As a note, my editor asked if I meant leggings when I say tights. I, along with most other guys, don't know the difference. To us, they are all just uncomfortable tight pants that are too similar to the long underwear my grandfather wears in the snow under his jeans.
Why? Arguably, they do cover a good portion of your face, but why are you hiding? Sure Paris Hilton needs to hide from the paparazzi, but seriously who are you hiding from? Show off your pretty face or the hard work you spent that morning getting ready. Guys don't understand these tinted glass masks and think they transform girls into giant flies.
Big Useless Belts
Just to clarify, these belts serve no practical purpose and are apparently just some sort of fashion statement—am I correct? Nope, we don't understand these “belts” either. They aren't even around your waist. Men are practical beings. Aside from pocket squares and bowties, we rarely wear anything that has no real purpose. Thus, it’s hard for guys to understand how a large strap around your stomach is pleasing or comfortable. Do you have to loosen it while you eat? Does it slide down to your hips or cut off circulation to your legs? We just don’t understand these fashionable belts. One guy once asked, “Can't they just add a colored stripe to their dress, why do they need a big weird belt?”