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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Real Live College Guy Andy: Is Inviting A New Guy To A Formal Too Forward?

Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the “boys will be boys” conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.

I want to invite this guy to a formal date party for my sorority. The thing is, we’ve only hung out a few times so I don’t know him particularly well. But I had a lot of fun with him when we did hang out, and I know I’ll regret it if I don’t just go for it and ask him. Is he going to think that’s weird and too forward? – Why Not? at William & Mary

Why Not,

As college guys, we don’t usually complain about romantic interests being too forward. We’re notorious for wanting things to move quickly, so there is little to no chance that this guy is going to feel like things are “moving too fast”.

This predicament of yours seems to me like it wouldn’t be one that’s too rare for sorority sisters. For those of you who are single and don’t want to take a currently platonic male friend to formal, what are you left with?  In this case, you probably have to take a guy (whom like in your case) you don’t know too well but could end up dating if things go right.

If this is the guy you want to take, then you owe it to yourself to ask him. If you don’t ask, you will just be left wondering. Yet if you do ask him, you will learn more clues as to how he sees you. Since you hardly know each other, he most likely won’t say yes if he isn’t romantically interested.

If he accepts your invitation, don’t read too much into it. He shouldn’t be overly nosy as to ask if it’s an actual date, and if he does, he may just want to know whether or not to get his hopes up. It doesn’t necessarily mean he isn’t interested in it being a romantic date.

And if he declines, the fashion in which he turns you down will say a lot. If he expresses real remorse for not being able to accept (gives you details of the plans he has that are preventing him from being free that night) then he probably likes you. Now, if he declines and gives a lame excuse, then it’s pretty clear that he’s just not interested. But yours truly has always been in the camp of knowledge over dignity. I would rather a girl decline going out with me rather than forever wonder if she likes me or not.

Overall, you shouldn’t stress too much about this. You are not doing anything out of social norm by asking this guy to formal. Just go for it and see what happens.

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Andrew Bensch

San Francisco

Andrew is a rising senior at San Francisco State University majoring in broadcast journalism. While he hopes to some day work in the sports media industry, becoming a professional columnist for a women's magazine is also on his radar. While in college Andrew has contributed sports columns to such sites like Foxsports.com, Insidehockey.com, and Bleacherreport.com. But don't be fooled, he isn't just your typical jock, after all he is willing to admit he actually loves chick flicks like "27 Dresses" "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" and "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". He also enjoys shows like "The OC", "One Tree Hill", "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" and "Teen Wolf" and wonders aloud why more college men don't open up about their love for these types of programs.