Real Live College Guy Ryan: What To Do When Your Ex is 'The One'

Need Dr. Drew relationship advice but don’t have the sensationalistic drama to warrant TV time? Unfortunately, Real Live College Guy Ryan isn’t a reality show therapist. However, he can provide the lowdown on everything you’ve ever wanted to know about college males: how they think, act, speak and genuinely interact with the women in their lives. College-aged men are walking paradoxes, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be understood. Read on and discover how to deal with their good, bad and (often times) confusing mannerisms.

I broke up with my boyfriend of three years about seven months ago. I thought at the time that he wasn't 'the one,' and so I ended it. He was devastated, and even though I was sad, I thought I had made the right decision. Seven months later, I'm missing him like crazy and think he is 'the one.' I think it just took some time apart for me to realize how much I love him. I want to tell him, but he's just started to date someone else and is doing really well. I feel like if I tell him, it would be selfish on my part for 'messing' with him, but at the same time, I feel like I can't not tell him. What should I do? –Heartbroken Heartbreaker at Hanover
 
Dear Heartbroken Heartbreaker,
As clichéd as it is to say, hindsight is always 20/20. It’s remarkably true in almost all of life’s adventures, whether it pertains to that test you (probably) should’ve studied for or that Long Island Iced Tea you (probably definitely) shouldn’t have chugged.
 
So of course it also applies to relationships. Especially in the case of long-term romances, reevaluating the relationship after the break-up can make one nauseous with the thought of what you’ve lost. In your case, realizing he was (probably) the “one” seven months after the fact makes your situation all the more crushing.
 
If he wasn’t dating someone and seemingly happy, I’d say tell him as soon as you could. Guys stew over failed relationships just as much as women. Like you mentioned, time apart does make a great relationship apparent. However, considering your current predicament, the handling becomes difficult—and “difficult” could be an understatement if he’s truly moved on.