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Real Live College Guy Joe: Cute Stuff to Do for a New Guy You're Dating
Ever wonder what guys think, how to deal with them, or whether instead of listening to you they just imagine you naked? Our Real Live College Guy Joe will answer all your questions about men and relationships with wit, clarity, grace, and physical attractiveness (can you tell he wrote this intro himself?) all while imagining you fully clothed! Well, usually – he is a college guy.
What are some cute things I could do to make this guy I just started dating smile? I don’t want to freak him out obviously. -Cutesy at Conn College
Guys appreciate cute things, contrary to popular belief. Especially cute things involving beer. But you don’t want to be overcute. We have a threshold. Below is a list of Dos and Don’ts to help you make him smile without sending him into anaphylactic shock from cute overload. Print it. Study it. Magnet it to your fridge. It will take you far.
- Do forgo going out to a party to spend the night cuddling with him.
- Don’t forgo going out to a party to spend the night cuddling with him and bring a keg and 75 of your closest friends.
- While walking together, Do kiss him on the cheek randomly. Guys secretly like these spontaneous outbursts of love.
- Don’t cultivate a nervous twitch in which you scream the deeply personal reasons you love him in public settings.
- Do attend something he does, like a sports practice or a band gig.
- If he doesn’t do extra-curriculars, probably Don’t spend your time teaching him a skill so you can then attend one of his practices. Just go to a movie or something.
- Do bake him cookies on a night he’s cramming for a midterm.
- The cookies may not work if you also have to study for a midterm. But Don’t take only cooking classes this semester to account for this problem. Unless you really like him.
- Do plan a surprise trip, like a day at a nearby ski mountain. Blindfold him and don’t take it off until you get there.
- Do or Don’t yell and make a lot of crashing noises while he’s blindfolded, and afterwards tell him you just protected him from a pack of hungry muggers. Up to you.
- Do leave a picture of yourself blowing a kiss as the background of his computer.
- Don’t smear lipstick on his screen for added realism.
- Do leave a love note in his backpack.
- Don’t write love notes over all the pages in his textbooks.
- Do knock on his door in the middle of the night wearing a raincoat with lingerie underneath.
- Don’t knock on his door in the middle of the night wearing lingerie with a raincoat underneath.
- Do wait outside one of his classes so you’ll be there when he comes out.
- Don’t then demand to see his notes from class to make sure he’s keeping up with his schoolwork.
- If you two share an inside joke, Do keep an eye out for knick-knacks and T-shirts relating to it. Sharing something like that strengthens relationships.
- Don’t explain the joke to all his friends so they understand the shirt when he wears it.
- If there’s some kind of book, toy, or gadget he’s always wanted, Do everything in your power to find and purchase it.
- Don’t just use it then tell him how great it was afterwards.
- Do call him one minute before his alarm goes off, so he can wake up to your voice.
- When he picks up the phone, Don’t imitate the sound of his alarm clock as loud as you can.
Just follow your good sense. Texting him something like “thinking of you,” is obviously a good idea, whereas stealing his phone and erasing all his contact numbers except for yours is obviously not. Whatever you do, be spontaneous, genuine, and not too crazy, and I’m sure he will love it.
About the Author
Biography
Joe attends Harvard College, class of 2012, and studies English. Originally from Chicago, he grew up in Miami, FL but now lives in Connecticut. At school, Joe is a member of the Ultimate Frisbee team, On Harvard Time (a comedy news show), and is still on the email list for the break dancing club. He's been to every continent in the world except Antarctica, South America, Africa, and Australia, and spent this past summer cycling across Norway and interning for MAD Magazine. After college, he plans to become famous, hopefully by legal means.

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Comments
I dated this guy for nearly a year while in high school, we only broke up because I left for college. Now that I'm at college, I know for a fact I could handle the distance... I can visit often and keep in touch... I don't want to force it on him though if it's tougher in his situation.. What should i do?
This is hilarious!
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