Real Live College Guy Ben: How To Trade Drunk Hookups For Boyfriend Material

HC’s resident Big Man Off Campus has covered topics from fake boobs (overrated) to masturbation (underrated) to unrequited love (frustrated). Now, he’s thrilled to make a guest appearance on RLCG to tackle the brain busters (alliterated) and provide collegiettes™ with uncensored, unashamed insight into the male inner workings of the male psyche (infiltrated).
 
I'm transferring to a new school and I'm definitely over the get drunk, hook up and never talk again party scene. I would like to find a boyfriend but this seems impossible in college. How do I go about meeting a guy who doesn't just want a one-night stand? - Tired at TAMU 

Dear Tired,
Remember that book as a kid? “If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to want some milk.”
 
For guys, it goes something like this: “If you give a man a cookie, he’s going to want that cookie again,” as opposed to: “If you give a man a cookie, he’s going to respect you and want a deep, meaningful relationship.”
 
If you’re getting drunk and hooking up, you’re probably spending time with guys who—you guessed it! – like to get drunk and hook up. If you’re studying and drinking coffee at Starbucks, you’re probably spending time with guys who like to study and drink coffee at Starbucks. If you’re wearing berets and writing slam poetry – you get the point. It’s about the scene, about the people with whom you surround yourself, and about how you act around them.
 
If you’re looking for a relationship, that guy (what’s his name again?) snoring next to hung-over you is not the place to start. Finding boyfriend material is like playing “I Spy”: the first thing you see is generally not the right one. It can be frustrating, and you have to dedicate time and energy – almost always more than you’d like to – but finding the correct answer is always worth it in the end. (Unlike playing “I Spy,” however, finding a boyfriend is not an ideal activity for long car rides.)