Jess and Katie Take You on the Best Date Ever: The Timeline Of A Date

Sunday, January 30, 2011

We love dates. We like that stupid yawn-stretch-arm-around-her move boys pull at the movies, and the “So-how-do-I-do-this-again?” trick girls do at bowling alleys. Dating is as all-American as watching baseball or stealing land from indigenous people. But in this age of rampant random hookups, we fear the date is fading away. So, as Justin did with sexy, we are bringing dating back. And not just any date. The Best Date Ever ©. Pop some breath mints and get your game face on, because we’re going to take you out.

STEP ONE: INITIATION Making the first move is easy and also easy to screw up. Let us guide you.

Do:

  • A little recon (through Facebook and friends, not background checks) and get to know his interests. If he loves, um, penguins, then casually ask if he’d want to go to the aquarium’s Antarctica exhibit. He’ll be like, “Oh my God. You like penguins too!!?,” and you can share in his dorky curiosity. If all goes accordingly, your night will probably end like this.
  • Tell him there’s a new restaurant that you’ve been wanting to try and that you should go this weekend. Men like food.
  • Keep it cool, confident and casual, and always smile, particularly if you’ve blown thousands of dollars and several years of your awkward stage picking popcorn from your braces and have gorgeous teeth to show for it.

Oh-No-You-Didn’t:

  • Ask him out via a friend of his or yours, Facebook message or text (see: First-Time-in-a-Text-er)
  • Reveal that you did your research and memorized his Facebook interests, musical preferences, etc.

MYTH: The guy always has to do the asking
This isn't your prom. Have some metaphorical balls and ask for what you want.

Comments

Wow!

Relatable topic, true statements and phenomenal writing! I was literally laughing out loud, other students at the library apparently didn't get it. But this was great, thanks!

Fabulous

As a gal who fully appreciates intelligent yet chic and savy writing, I found myself "LOL"-ing through out this tasteful yet moderately risque article. Job well done.

metaphorical balls

Love the article, but instead of metaphorical balls, is it ok to say ovaries? I'd rather use something I've got to describe myself than something I don't...

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