Sexting, like any other romantic endeavor, can end in one of many ways. Unfortunately, some of those ways are embarrassing. Blush-inducing. Awkward. Major sexting snafus, if you will.
Sigh, such is the life of a technology-dependent lady in love. Lucky for you, we’ve put together a guide to sexting, snafu-free. Because while a kink in your kinky plans is the last thing you want, you should know how to navigate one — just in case. Read on, and get romancing, 21st century-style.
Sexting Snafu: You’re afraid to initiate sexting
If you’re apprehensive about turning up the flirt via text message, we understand. Sexting is a controversial topic, and it seems like everyonehas an opinion on it. But let’s clear one thing up: sexy texting doesn’t have to mean sending revealing pictures. In fact, unless you’ve sworn your boyfriend to secrecy under a somehow unbreakable relationship confidentiality clause, we don’t recommend swapping photos of your girls and his little guy. Words can be just as powerful, if not more so.
What is recommended for a beginner sexter is to start slow. Think of it as the foreplay that comes before the foreplay. You wouldn’t jump straight into bed without a little lip-to-lip action first, right? (Extreme gotta-have-you-now circumstances excluded.) So, make your first sext a little innocuous. Something like, “I couldn’t stop thinking about last night’s date when I woke up this morning” or “You looked really cute in that striped shirt yesterday” is perfect. It may not be the most forward opening line, but he’ll catch on quickly, and you can up the ooo-la-la over the next few texts.
Sexting Snafu: His sexting is turning you off.
Everyone has a different style of flirting, so it shouldn’t shock you if one of your guy’s tricks doesn’t set your heart aflutter. But turning up your nose at his technological tactics can be tough. In person, you could swiftly change the type of flirting or try out your own techniques. When texting, that can’t be done so easily.
Because of this, honesty is probably your best (and least relationship-endangering) bet. Yes, you risk hurting his feelings — and his ego — but that uncomfortable conversation is a must if you really want to put an end to his sexting. During your in-person chat, keep the focus on yourself rather than placing the blame on him. You can cut to the chase with something along the lines of, “Babe, I can’t really get into the whole sexting thing. I think it’s a lot hotter if we flirt in person. Then I’m able to look at you and touch you.” Offering another option that can lead up to getting frisky lets your beau know that it’s not the idea of being with him that’s turning you off, it’s just the approach.
If you don’t want to stop his sexting altogether though, just steer it in another direction, use some of those magical manipulative powers we females all possess. He may think sending you a photo of his member is sexy; you — not so much. Respond to the picture by asking him to describe what he wants to do to you, and get an actual dialogue flowing.
Sexting Snafu: You sexted the wrong person.
This is the easiest way to screw up a sext — and probably the most embarrassing. Committing this error doesn’t have to equate to social suicide, though. Here are a few ways to handle the situation:
Ignore It.
Chances are the unlucky text recipient wants to forget about the incident as much as you do. If the person doesn’t write back within half an hour or so — these aren’t look now, respond later kinds of texts — don’t feel obligated to do so either. Rather than fish for the right words to undo the situation (FYI: there are none), don’t say anything at all. It might not be the most mature approach, but, hey, romance and humiliation do crazy, age-reverting things to the female brain.
Apologize for It
“Sorry” won’t erase that ill-fated text, but it may bring a little closure to your romantic glitch. You shouldn’t apologize profusely; it’ll only prolong the awkwardness. A short and sweet, “I’m so sorry. That was obviously meant for someone else!” will do the job.
Make It Funny
Humor often helps ease awkward situations. If your joke works, the ice is broken. If your joke falls flat, the ice is still broken, and the awkwardness is now centered on your lack of comedic timing instead of your flirting flub. Try something like, “Well, I guess we can skip the discussion about my sex life at the next girl’s night out!”
If you really did something bad though (like texted mom and dad, bad), your best move is to fess up. The more frank and adult-like you are about the situation, the less they can say back to you. Text the person back with, “Ok, this is really embarrassing. I accidentally texted the wrong person. I’d really rather not talk about what it said. I’m sorry you had to see it, though!”
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Sexting Snafu: You’re an awkward sexter.
Even with a solid effort and a slow start (as we advise) it can take a while to become a sextpert. If after a few back and forths you’re still unsuccessful, rethink your ways. Are you sticking true to your personality or does the technological divide turn you into an X-rated diva?
While one of the great parts of sexting is being able to let your guard down a bit, you shouldn’t stray too far from your regular sexy time ways. If you’re about to text something you wouldn’t dream of saying in-person in a million years, don’t. More often than not, it’ll come off as forced and clumsy, neither of which is a huge turn-on.
Rereading what you write before hitting send is another way to prevent an awkward situation. There’s nothing like an attempted sext being taken the wrong way. Make your initial statement simple but somewhat obvious in its attempt. “I need you” or “I’m hot” can be taken a million different ways, so steer clear of ambiguous phrases like those. The last thing you want is your boyfriend imagining you dripping with sweat when you reallywant him to heat things up with you.
Here are a few flirty sexts that are sure to get the flirt flowing — and not get misconstrued:
- “My roommates are going to be away this weekend. What should we do with the apartment all to ourselves?”
- “I finally tried that yoga class I was telling you about! I feel so flexible. Wonder how long it will last…”
- “I just finished reading the latest issue of Cosmo. So. Many. Ideas. Want to come over?”
Sexting Snafu: You’ve sexted him scandalous pictures, but now you’re broken up.
Let us reiterate: sexting some cheeky and slightly inappropriate words, though still risky, is far less incriminating than sexting some cheeky and slightly inappropriate pictures. But if you bold collegiettes havesent your guy a quick snap sans clothes, proceed with caution.
Unfortunately, there aren’t many legal defenses you can take. You voluntarily took and provided him with the photos, and, therefore, they’re now his. If the break-up was amicable, ask him to delete the photos you sent him. Chances are you guys swapped pictures, so he wouldn’t want to jeopardize himself just to spite you, right?
Keep things nice and straightforward with a phone call. Say something like, “I trust that you wouldn’t want to embarrass me or put my future in danger, but I would feel a lot more comfortable if you would permanently delete the pictures I sent you. They were private, and now that we aren’t together anymore I don’t think you need to have them. I hope you can respect that.” If all else fails, pull a Carrie Underwood, and take a Louisville slugger to both headlights.
With some practice and a little patience concerning the occasional snafu, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a certified sextpert! Have you sexted in the past? Did it go off without a hitch?