Ever wonder why guys do the things they do? We have our handy Real Live College Guys to help us out when we’re in a dating crisis, but sometimes all we want to know is why they’re so gross or why they’re so obsessed with sports or why, for the love of God, they can’t take us out for a nice meal instead of watching another movie on their couch. We talked to guys all around the country to bring you answers to the questions you’ve been dying to ask.
1. Why do guys like to hang out with their hands down their pants?
You’re sitting on the couch next to one of your guy friends, innocently catching up on your latest Netflix binge, and the dude puts his hands down his pants as though it’s completely casual. What gives?!
According to Andrew*, a senior at Duke University, “it’s just comfortable.” But does comfort have to come from such an awkward sitting position?
Danny*, a sophomore at the University of New Hampshire, agrees with Andrew. “I do it because it’s comfortable,” Danny says. “It’s not like I do it in really public settings or in front of girls I don’t know well or that I’m actually doing anything gross when my hands are down my pants.”
So, collegiettes, it’s just a comfortable way to sit, and apparently guys are well behaved while down there. Maybe we understand it now, but that doesn’t mean we like it.
2. Why do guys have such a hard time with planning dates in advance?
It’s Friday night, you’re sitting in your dorm and you know your boyfriend said he wanted to go on some sort of date with you. And yet, he hasn’t made any concrete plans. What the heck is up with this?
Andrew says this habit is something that changes with how formal the date is. “Movies we usually plan that afternoon,” he says. “Is that last-minute?”
Movies and other casual dates might not get a lot of preparation because they’re easier to plan. However, “you can’t plan some stuff last-minute because reservations don’t work like that,” Andrew says. Things like dinners at nice restaurants or dates for important occasions, such as anniversaries, deserve more attention, and guys seem to get that.
When a guy puts a lot of planning into a date, it’s a source of pride. “I am definitely guilty of last-minute date planning,” says Jack*, a sophomore at the University of New Hampshire. “But for my anniversary with my girlfriend, I planned ahead, and thought I was pretty awesome for what I pulled off.”
Collegiettes, if it bothers you when your date is a little slow with the planning process, let him know you’d like a little advance notice before you go out next.
3. Why are guys SO obsessed with grilling?
It’s a Saturday in July, which means you can be found doing exactly one thing: sitting and watching all of your guy friends grill steaks (or burgers, or sausages, or pretty much any other form of meat). Why the obsession?
“It is the quickest and easiest way to get meat from not being cooked to being cooked,” Andrew says.
Let’s face it: A lot of guys (save for vegetarians) love a good steak or burger. Grilling it themselves at a summer barbecue with a beer in hand is a great opportunity for them to have a steak dinner and say they even cooked it themselves. Grilling is a source of pride for guys!
“Grilling is our excuse to say we cook, but in reality, it’s super simple,” says Kevin, a senior at Assumption College. Because grilling is so easy and pleases so many appetites, it’s the best way to make a guy feel like a MasterChef.
So, collegiettes, let guys do their thing and make the easy meal. Really, who here is actually complaining? A night where all the guys make dinner for the girls? We’ll take that gladly.
4. What’s the big deal about fantasy sports leagues?
“I just love when he only talks about his fantasy sports leagues,” said no collegiette ever. What’s with the obsession? Isn’t sitting down to watch the game enough?
“Sports leagues are fun,” says Jimmy*, a senior at the University of Southern California. Everyone deserves a hobby, right?
“It gives you something to look forward to every game because you have something invested in every team,” Andrew says. Since a guy can have players from multiple different real-life teams, it makes every game that more exciting.
“Fantasy sports allow me to feel like I am a real pro sports coach,” Kevin says.
Instead of rolling your eyes when your guy gets excited over his fantasy draft, get in on the action! Try asking him if you could play, too, and if he seems into the idea, go for it. It’ll be a great way to spend time with your guy or your guy friends and learn a thing or two about the sports they love.
In the end, fantasy sports leagues are something you don’t have to like, you don’t have to understand, but you’ve got to respect.
5. Why are guys so ridiculous on Tinder?
Among the guys of Tinder, you’re bound to find at least one with cringeworthy pick-up lines. Why do guys ruin their chances with you by being so absurd during conversation?
“The relative anonymity makes them bold,” Andrew says.
And what does it mean if a guy is extra forward? “If a guy is being wicked forward or gross when hitting on you on Tinder, there is no way he’s actually looking for a date,” Jack says.
If you’re looking for a real romance, know that they guy who asks if it hurt when you fell from heaven might not be the one for you. And if he starts getting too out of hand or incredibly lewd, stop answering him and block him — do what you have to do to feel safe.
6. Why do guys do dorm movie dates rather than real dinner dates?
You’ve been talking to him for a while and you think you’re really hitting it off, but all he does is invite you to his dorm room to watch a movie together. What kind of date is this?!
Andrew explains that this just isn’t a date. “That’s how a date can end, but only watching TV is hanging out,” he says.
But don’t worry, collegiettes; a dorm hangout isn’t necessarily a bad thing. “Sometimes guys just do that to get to know a girl more,” Andrew says. So if you really like this guy, know that he’s probably interested in getting to know you.
There’s one more major reason for these kinds of dates (or hangouts): money. “They’re super cheap!” Kevin says.
Hanging out with him in his dorm isn’t always a bad thing! Understand that guys feel the same poor college student struggles as we do, and just enjoy your time getting to know him.
Someday (hopefully soon), guys might outgrow some of these weirder habits. Until then, we’ll just have to grin and bear it.
*Names have been changed.