Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the "boys will be boys" conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.
A few weeks ago I met this guy at the gym and we exchanged numbers. Automatically I noticed how we really clicked. We would text nonstop and he kept saying he couldn't wait to hang out. About a week and a half later (due to me being out of town) we hung out for the first time, we ate dinner and then went back to his place for a movie. I ended up staying the night and we hooked up. Since then it has been two weeks and I have seen him almost every day and we hook up a lot. I would usually write this off as a hook-up buddy. However, I really like this guy and we don't always just hook up: we hang out, grab lunch, study together, etc. He usually initiates us hanging out. I guess my confusion comes from me wondering if the fact that I slept with him so very very soon takes away my chances of dating this guy? Is he interested in anything more? How do I know? - Not Sure at NCSU
While the saying goes “those who assume make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me,’” I think it’s safe to assume that most relationships which begin in college (during this day and age) don’t start off “slow and steady.”
Hormones are raging as we are young adults away from our parents for typically the first extended amount of time. Possibly more than ever we find ourselves surrounded by potential “mates” (for lack of a better word) who are in the same situation.
If we were to take a random poll of college couples whom started their relationship in college and have been dating for over a year, my bet would be that over half of them had sex within a week to ten days of their first kiss.
Now I understand that having sex the first night you hooked up with this guy could make you worry about whether or not he’d be interested in something more. However, this isn’t a random drunk hook-up scenario without a genuine connection.
You said so yourself that you and this guy really clicked and that you not only text all the time but also hang out together outside of hooking up. I could be wrong, but this sounds like a budding relationship to me. Sounds like you are in the position where it is time to have “the talk.”
Unless he suddenly comes out and asks you to be his exclusive girlfriend, it sounds like you are going to have to ask him where your relationship is going, or “DTR” as they say.
By coming to me for my thoughts, it makes me think that you haven’t gotten any indication from him as to what he wants out of this situation.
If that’s the case then there really is no way to avoid being direct. If you want to know where things are going, you simply have to ask him.