While feeling a bit adventurous I decided I would pursue seven different dates from seven different dating apps over the course of seven days. Unfortunately, I only got to do five dates — but, man, did I figure things out about myself.
Some quick notes: people are flaky, boys suck and I’m picky.
I was so excited when I took on this assignment. I thought I would separate the dates between people near home and those near school. In retrospect, neither were really good when it came to the quantity (don’t even get me started about the quality) of people I could come across. I downloaded 24 different dating apps — yay for non-city living and also, who knew there were that many?! Yeah. After a while, I just felt sad scrolling through each of these apps trying to find somebody to go on a date with me.
I was torn between just going on a date with anybody or going on a date with somebody that I would actually enjoy talking to.
I found out that I have extremely high standards and I am very picky when it comes to boys. Good thing? For the most part. For this article? Not so much.
Even though I downloaded a crap ton of dating apps, I only ended up using a handful. A lot of them wanted me to pay so that I can message my matches, if I didn’t already have to pay to see my matches to begin with. How crazy is that? It’s wild. Also, I’m not as technology savvy as I thought I was. Some apps just frustrated me as I tried to navigate it, so I gave up on those and focused on a core set of apps, which ended up being the more popular apps (and now I understand why!).
Date 1: Hinge
I’m convinced I’m going to marry this guy. We met up when I was home, so he’s far far away now. The date was fun, like really fun. We met up to go ice-skating and we got drinks after. Also, we are interested in the same things. Plus, he works in the field that I want to work in. And he’s so cute and smart! Really, I think this was a match made in the online databases. I didn’t want the date end, at all. Unfortunately, he had work the next day, like a real person outside of college and had to go home. We talk every now and then, we mostly Snapchat, but I’m excited to hang out when I go back home, assuming we’re still talking then! I wish I had met him here at school, because maybe we’d continue seeing each other.
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Date 2: Tinder
After the first date, I had such high hopes for all the others. This one, he will forever be the f*ckboy that got away. Whenever I look back upon the best and the worst Tinder (or online dating app) stories, his name easily makes the short list for both. He was so nice and seemingly perfect. We talked via text and FaceTime for a good couple of days before finally meeting up for lunch at a cute bakery.
It was awkward but also not at the same time. I already knew a great deal about him through talking and I was struggling to think of new conversations. Luckily, he stepped up to the plate and filled the silence with some really great topics. We hugged bye after lunch and we continued to talk for a while. He’d text me good morning and ask me about my day. So sweet. And then one day… he asked for nudes. When I said no, he got so mad and started calling me a slut. Okay, calm down. Then a week later, I kid you not, he goes “When can I slide in that black p*ssy?”
Oh. Definitely not. Deleted. Blocked. Bye bye, forever. This whole thing happened as my friend was writing an article about black beauty and how it’s perceived by people — especially non-blacks, so I definitely told her about this incident.
Date 3: Bumble
I didn’t really want to continue after that, because I felt so self-conscious. Plus, some of the messages I was receiving on Tinder were just very annoying. “I’ve never had sex with a black girl before” and well, you won’t be any time soon with that attitude! Luckily, with Bumble, I got to initiate the messages and they were all very thoughtful.
While talking to the Tinder boy, I was also talking to a Bumble cutie. We bonded over the fact that he knew where my hometown is and he played lacrosse at a school one of my friends goes to. Small world. He was nice and we had so much in common. We met up for some tea and the conversation was so simple and easy. He came over after — to finish the conversation of course. And we did talk… for five hours. That’s it… talked. Nothing wrong with that, but I felt weird sitting in my apartment while he just talked my ear off about all the different types of drugs he’s tried and the ones he just wants to. And then we never really talked again.
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He had texted me with a sad face and said “Sorry, I was so high yesterday. I smoked the wrong weed. Still want to hang out again? I’m getting new weed laced with E, that’d be fun to try out.” Not really, dude, not really.
Date 4: PlentyOfFish
At this point, I was so tired of these dates and dating apps. I really didn’t think I would be able to continue this online dating. I was well aware what most guys want on these dating apps, but I’m not one to meet a person once and then get in the sack with that person.
The PlentyOfFish (POF) guy I met seemed promising. He is in grad school where I go to undergraduate, so yay for older men. We met up for drinks at a bar. He was so cool. Also, tall, dark, and very handsome. And at this point, most importantly, he wasn’t an asshole. We talked a lot about future aspirations — he was very professional. At the end of the night, we decided that we really weren’t meant for each other and we found the whole premise of online dating to be awkward. He has asked to hang out again — so that’s exciting (and confusing)! But he seems so extremely dull outside of being extremely ambitious and very busy. I’m down for hanging out again, seeing as we frequent the same bars I think it’s unavoidable because there are only about three super popular bars in the area that students go to. We’ll see. I’m indifferent about it!
Date 5: The Grade
This app is a bit bizarre — you get a grade based on how many people liked your pictures and the quality of your messages. If you get an F, you get kicked off the app. There were only like 10 people in my area within five miles of me since the app was so new! The Grade guy I met was only in town for one night. I’ve definitely heard the whole “Hey, I’m in town for tonight, want to hang out?” before and lo and behold, his miles away status does not change. Maybe it goes from five to nine miles, but that’s still doable. But I was feeling adventurous and I wanted to check out the bar he suggested, so I did it.
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His conversations were so grating and boring, I was so glad he had an open tab. Generally, I enjoy listening to people, but I hate insects and I do not care about their mating habits, ever. He actually did not want to go home with me, which is relieving, but he is excited to hanging out when he comes back… which probably isn’t happening. Sorry. But, I did set my age and mile range to the highest bracket, and I have an A+ on the app, so at least there’s that.
I have high expectations for people I’m meeting online because I can be picky when it comes to filters. And then… well, expectations dashed. I think I’m more of a person who wants to meet somebody in real life. The dates were overall meh, some better than others, obviously. I still don’t think I’m cut out for the online dating life, but I did enjoy the free drinks and food, so no complaints there! All in all, I would probably do it again just for the experiences.