Summer Lovin' or More? How to Know If You Should Go From a Summer Fling to the Real Thing

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couple in hammock, couple at beachCue the sad music, the tearful goodbyes, the lingering questions … ah yes, the end of summer has come, and it’s time to say goodbye to your summer fling. Or is it? Whether you’ve fallen head over heels for one guy or you’ve had multiple summer flings, the end of summer means it’s time to make a choice: to stay together or not to stay together. But if you are a little confused, that’s okay! Her Campus is here to help you decide whether you should leave your fling behind or if you should take the next step. Either way, you’ll be starting fresh for the fall!

 
Why a Fling Should Stay a Fling
Despite how much fun the two of you have had this summer, you can’t help it if you aren’t interested in pursuing a relationship with your fling after the summer ends. In all honesty, there are often signs and signals as to why your fling should stay a fling … and we’re here to point them out to you, so you know when to leave your fling in the past!

couple messing around, couple at beach, girl over boys shoulder, cute couple, summer loveHe’s Not a Priority
Yes, you looked forward to seeing him at a mutual friend’s party, and of course you wanted to meet up for lunch on a break from work. But when it comes down to it, you aren’t willing to change your plans for him or to go out of your way to see him. “I liked spending time with my summer fling, but I never tried too hard to make plans with him,” says Melissa, a student at Indiana University. “I knew then that I didn’t want to see him again after summer.” The best part about a summer fling is its convenience. Once you realize you aren’t willing to make sacrifices for the relationship, it’s time to move on.

You’ll Be Apart During the Year
Although you may have fallen for the guy, a maximum of three months together is usually not enough time to develop a strong relationship. Long-distance relationships take time, effort, commitment and a high level of trust. “Don’t expect a relationship with someone on the opposite coast to flourish,” says Natalie Krinsky, a former writer for The Frisky.Sometimes the greatest thing about a summer romance is it’s fantasy – and sustaining that over the phone, email and Skype … might be a far-fetched fantasy in itself.” After a summer fling, you typically are not ready as a couple for a long-distance relationship – leave your fling a fling.

You Can’t See a Future
Once you really fall for a guy, you start to imagine your future together. Whether it’s football games in September or Christmas with your entire family, you see a place for him in your future and are glad to have him there. “I couldn’t imagine ever seeing my summer fling again after summer,” says Melissa. “There was no way we were going to have a relationship once school started.” If you can’t see past your plans to grab ice cream tomorrow night, then you should end your summer fling.

summer love, heart drawn in sand, love at the beachYou’re Not Ready for a Commitment
College relationships are not for everyone. Between classes, jobs, internships and your social life, it is tough to fit in a boyfriend. “Sometimes the beauty of a summer fling is exactly that – its flingy-ness,” says Krinsky. “Something transient doesn’t mean something bad. In fact, it’s pretty sexy.” If you’re looking forward to your freedom upon heading back to school in the fall, then you should probably leave your guy behind.
 
You Have Nothing in Common
It’s easier to find similarities during the summer – everyone loves laying out by the pool and sleeping in until noon. But if you despise his love for science-fiction movies, and he is annoyed by your seeming obsession with your sorority sisters, then it is probably time to say goodbye to your summer fling.

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About The Author

Allie Duncan is a senior, class of 2013, in the School of Journalism at the University of Missouri. She is specializing in Strategic Communication within the Journalism department, while also pursuing a Textile and Apparel Management minor. In addition to writing for Her Campus, Allie is a member of Kappa Delta sorority - Epsilon Iota chapter, the Publicity Director for Her Campus Mizzou, a Campus Representative/Intern for Akira Chicago, a Contributing Writer for Chicago-Scene magazine and a member of the Society of Professional Journalists. She spent the 2012 summer as an intern at Tory Burch, and the 2011 summer as an intern at Vogue magazine. A Chicago native, Allie enjoys shopping, watching reality television, cupcakes, expensive shoes and reading magazines. She hopes to eventually land a job in fashion public relations while living in New York City, Los Angeles, or Chicago.