He dated one of your BFFs?
Off-limits. Unless you want to get involved in a roaring cat-fight and risk losing a best friend...
He hates your girlfriends/BFFs?
If you really care about your relationship with the guy, try to make it work. See if you can maintain both with all parties remaining content. Schedule lunches and dinners with everyone, make sure you spend time talking/texting, and altogether keeping in touch. Being a good girlfriend does not mean having to sacrifice your role as a friend – and vice versa. But if that proves difficult, Levine suggests taking a closer look at the guy. If he's new and your friends have been around forever, consider giving him the boot. “Always be cautious about giving up your female friends,” she cautions. If you're forced to choose, be wise, and have the foresight to know who will remain loyal to you into the future.
Keeping track of our friends and all the different relationships they have can be as challenging a task as "Keeping Up With The Kardashians." No matter how tight your group of friends, it only takes that one guy (re: scumbag) to ruin your bond. As confusing as things can get – are they hooking up? Dating? FWB? "Nothing?" Casually together? Just hanging out? – be open with your girls. It's all the more reason for having those hungover gorge-fests we like to call "brunch" every weekend, that tend to always be interrupted by a sighting of someone's latest hook-up.
Irene Levine, psychologist and author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend and creator of The Friendship Blog
Rachel, Emory University
Carly, Emory University
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