Need Dr. Drew relationship advice but don’t have the sensationalistic drama to warrant TV time? Unfortunately, Real Live College Guy Ryan isn’t a reality show therapist. However, he can provide the lowdown on everything you’ve ever wanted to know about college males: how they think, act, speak and genuinely interact with the women in their lives. College-aged men are walking paradoxes, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be understood. Read on and discover how to deal with their good, bad and (often times) confusing mannerisms.
I met a senior guy about a month ago (I'm a sophomore) and we were instantly attracted to each other. He always flirts and is very sweet. But there’s a problem. He broke up with his girlfriend recently (probably a week or two after we'd met). They had been together for over a year. So now that he is single, I want to go for it, but I really don't want to be a rebound. Also, I'm not sure if he actually likes me or is just friendly because maybe he doesn't want a relationship if he just got out of one. What should I do? – Confused at Conn College
Approach this guy with caution. The warning signs are there (one of which you’ve already noticed):
1. You two met BEFORE they broke up, so there’s a chance that he’s just a flirty guy. Being sweet and flirty doesn’t necessarily mean he’s into you—it just means he has an endearing, outgoing personality. He probably acts like that around every woman he meets, no matter if he likes her or not.
2. He recently broke up with his long-time girlfriend, so chances are he’s not fully over her. Just like women who recently broke up with their significant others, guys are just as emotionally vulnerable coming off a relationship. He’ll hit on anything with a pulse to a) enjoy his new independence, and b) “show” the ex that he has moved on. It’s a strange way of coping with break-ups, but we’re irrational 95% of the time anyways.
3. There’s also the chance that he’s taking advantage of his senior status. Older guys always attract younger women, so there’s a chance he’s using you as a rebound just because he can. This may not be the case, but younger women who have fallen for older men typically end up the losers in these situations. If you’re willing, he might take you up on your offer only to split when a new woman comes along.
Prevent yourself from falling head over heels for him. Keep your friendship at arm’s length until a good amount of time has passed. If you’re going to go out to bars and parties together, make sure you prevent yourself from ending up in his bed at the end of the night. Separating the lust from the, well, “liking” will help you make the best decision.