Need Dr. Drew relationship advice but don’t have the sensationalistic drama to warrant TV time? Unfortunately, Real Live College Guy Ryan isn’t a reality show therapist. However, he can provide the lowdown on everything you’ve ever wanted to know about college males: how they think, act, speak and genuinely interact with the women in their lives.
I hooked up with this guy and the three times I saw him at parties after that we hooked up too. I'm not sure what I'm looking for out of it but does that mean that I can't hook up with other people at parties when he's around? Should I just assume he's not looking for anything and do my own thing? — Flirty at Florida State
It doesn’t mean you can’t hook up with other people at parties, per say. It would probably just be wise to not suck face with another guy next to the beer pong table—while the original guy is playing on the table.
Let’s assume for right now that you’re not looking for anything out of your current hook-up. Let’s also assume that you two end up at the same party again and you see another man with whom you’d like to bump uglies.
With this in mind, consider your original party buddy for a second. You don’t know whether he’s attached any sort of special meaning to your hooking up. Rather than being a—for lack of a better word—“jerk,” play this situation safe and make sure you’re out of OG dude’s vicinity if paying special attention to the new guy.
Here’s the thing: unless you directly ask him how he feels about you two, you won’t know whether he considers you a fling or a love interest. It might behoove you to ask, but that could turn awkward—not to mention potentially unnecessary.
So be conservative. You can do what you want as long as you make sure you move third-party hook-ups out of his proximity.
Then again, that’s assuming that you don’t actually want anything with the original guy. If you find yourself really falling for him and losing interest in other potential hook-ups, then you should definitely ask how he views you the next time you cross paths. In that situation, don’t awkwardly blurt out the question. Wait for things to heat up and then calmly ask.
If you’re just another notch on the belt, well, it’s up to you to decide if you should progress with hooking up or not. At least at that point you’ll know that he wouldn’t care if you did your own thing.