One hottie is working up a sweat on the tennis court, another is standing behind you at the salad bar, and it’s definitely more than the Bunsen burner that’s heating up your chemistry lab. Your campus is positively brimming with hot guys! But finding the nerve to actually approach one? That can be more terrifying and uncertain than the current job market. That’s why we’ve chatted it up with relationship experts, real college guys, and the collegiettes who’ve put their good advice to the test, to share with you the ultimate guide to approaching college guys.
Tricks of the Trade
“Think of yourself as one of those female newscasters and just start asking questions,” suggests Dan Lier, author of Men: 10 Secrets Every Woman Should Know from Two Guys That Do (available on askdanandmike.com). “The key to actually getting into a conversation with men is to ask a question about them.”
Lier explains that on an emotional scale, men trail behind their female counterparts, making some college-aged men shallow and self-centered. So channel your inner Katie Couric and start asking him about himself. “Because guys like attention, he’ll think, ‘Wow, she’s really interesting!’ But the fact is, you’re not being interesting, you’re being interested,” explains Lier. “And because you’re being interested, guys will want to be around you.”
Like any good journalist, Kean University junior Brigit recommends you ask flirty open-ended questions. “Don’t ask anything that he can answer with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no,’” she explains.
Gabrielle, a junior at The College of New Jersey, is living proof that Brigit’s advice works. When Gabrielle first spotted a hottie scribbling away in a tiny notebook during their conversation hour her freshman year, she immediately started chatting him up after class. “I caught up with him on our way out of the building and asked him what he was writing,” she says. “I was so surprised with how easy the conversation flowed from there.” That simple question was all it took; the two are celebrating their two-year anniversary this month.
“You never know unless you ask,” says Lier. “If you never take action and go up and talk, you’ll never get anywhere.”