All sex is good sex
Nowadays, in most movies with a PG-13 or higher rating, there is at least one sex scene. And one thing that is true about the majority of these scenes is that regardless of the two participants’ levels of experience, where and when they’re doing it or any other extenuating circumstances, the sex is awesome. Obviously this makes sense to do in Hollywood, because who wants to watch a sex scene between their favorite leading couple in which absolutely no sparks fly? I mean, imagine if Rose suddenly decided that the car below deck on the Titanic wasn’t doing it for her and she just wasn’t really in the mood – kind of kills the whole love story, right? But real life can be extremely different from this (first and foremost because we can’t all have young Leonardo Dicaprio as our partner). In all seriousness though, most movies give us incredibly unrealistic expectations of what sex is like. They hardly ever depict it as awkward, unsatisfying or uncomfortable. So, if you’re worried that something is wrong with you because you don’t feel the magic every time you have sex, you definitely shouldn’t be! There are going to be times when the physical chemistry isn’t there, or your roommate comes back unexpectedly while you’re in the throes of passion, or you discover that sand actually will get EVERYWHERE if you try to do it on the beach. In fact, the awkwardness is completely normal, so you should really try not to compare your personal experience to a scene that had to be filmed 12 different times before it was deemed acceptable. And sometimes, “awkward” sex can be even better than perfect movie sex. If you’re able to laugh at the mishaps together, it can be a lot more of a personal and fun experience.
The so-called grand gesture
And now for the grand finale, the biggest lie of all: if a boy doesn’t make some grand gesture to win your heart, then he doesn’t care about you. It happens in way too many movies to keep track of all of them, but I’m sure we can all easily think of quite a few. Realistically, there are very few guys out there who are going to stand outside your window blasting a Peter Gabriel song from their boom box, declare their undying love for you mid-rainstorm or insist that you take the space on a door that could easily fit two after your ship sinks in the middle of the freezing ocean (yes, I’m truly still not over this). It’s unreasonable to expect such things! Movies often depict these grand gestures as the best problem solvers in relationships. Your love shouldn’t be based on some grandiose dramatic gesture, but rather on the relationship as a whole and how you two work together to resolve your issues.
A real relationship is about communication and compromise. If you and your honey are going through a rough patch, you should talk about it to work it out. Refusing to accept that most men are never going to do something like this is a quick way to end up very disappointed.
So, next time you’re out and that cute guy you’ve been eyeing starts a conversation with you, try not to compare him to the idea of a “perfect man” that Hollywood has put in your mind. If it ends up turning into a relationship and he turns out to be a good guy who respects you, loves you and is willing to work on something that is creating tension between you two, then that should be enough. While it’s always going to be fun to moon over the perfect man in your favorite chick flick, it’s also important to have reasonable and realistic expectations when it comes to your real relationships. But it’s also still okay to pretend you’re Mrs. Ryan Gosling every once in a while.