It’s a Friday night. Your friends are all calling and texting you in a last-ditch effort to convince you to come to that party with them. But you’ve already made up your mind: you’re staying in and hanging out with your boyfriend. What your friends don’t need to know is that by “hanging out” you mean watching ABC Family’s rerun of The Notebook, and by “your boyfriend” you mean Ryan Gosling. It’s no secret that we all sometimes wonder how the men in movies can seem so perfectly perfect when a lot of our latest male interactions entailed that drunk Frat Star who attempted to booty call us. However, what we sometimes don’t consider—especially while we’re busy wishing our lives more closely resembled that of the leading lady of our favorite rom-com—is that most relationships in movies are entirely and completely unrealistic, and really not always as great as they seem. From the time we watched our first Disney princess movie, we’ve been conditioned to think we deserve something that is actually incredibly unreasonable. Most collegiettes are guilty of doing this sometimes, so there’s definitely no judgment here! But it’s important to remember that the majority of the time, romance can be a lot more fun and exciting when you stop playing by Hollywood’s unrealistic rules! A lot of what the movies convey to us about love is just flat-out false. So, here they are: the most common love-related lies that movies tell us.
I only followed you home because I love you.
First of all, I want to talk about one widespread movie concept that really irks me: nothing done in the name of love can be creepy. There are way too many teen love movies and romantic comedies that perpetuate this idea. Listen ladies, this is simply untrue! Just because a boy says he loves you doesn’t mean it’s okay for him to sneak into your bedroom through the window every night to watch you sleep (that’s right, I’m looking at you, Edward Cullen). In no situation would this be acceptable in real life! Any normal person would have this boy arrested immediately, especially if he claimed he was only doing it because of his undying love for her, as that’s generally referred to as being a stalker. But no, Bella just decides to take this in stride and accepts it as perfectly normal behavior and as an action that only proves Eddie’s love for her. And what about when Noah blackmails Allie into accepting a date with him by threatening to jump from a Ferris wheel? In real life, that would be a definite red flag and not the best start to a relationship. Even a scene that seems cute when you’re watching it, like the one when Mark secretly professes his love for his best friend’s wife in Love Actually, can be something that is actually a big no-no. Imagine how awkward of a situation he’s creating for her in the future! Watching a girl allow a guy to act creepily towards her in a movie can lead us to believe that a man acting creepy in real life is acceptable. The truth is you should never let a guy act in a way that makes you uncomfortable just because you think he likes you. There are always lines and boundaries that should never be crossed, and if they are, it should be a deal-breaker.
But he’s my Prince Charming!
So remember when I mentioned those Disney Princess movies? Well, turns out they tell us one of the biggest love lies of all. It’s a classic Disney scenario: girl meets boy, they fall in love, girl gets into danger, boy comes to save her and they live happily ever after. Whether it’s Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty or Snow White, we’ve seen it countless times. Although the danger you’re in might not be as literal as your evil stepmother trying to poison you or a scorned fairy cursing you to sleep for 100 years, you still shouldn’t depend on a boy to save you from your life’s troubles. I can promise that you’re not going to end up very happy if you’re always relying on the male species to solve your problems for you. That kind of dependent relationship always ends up dysfunctional. It’s the 21st century; don’t act like you’re a damsel in distress! You should be able to be happy on your own before you commit to being in any serious relationship. No one wants to be that girl who can’t function without a boyfriend. Even if your boy seems to be the best boyfriend ever, you should try to maintain a certain level of independence. It’s good to know that you can be happy on your own and while doing things by yourself.