Getting ready to go out is a time-consuming feat that guys don’t necessarily understand. We start a few hours prior to the planned departure time (which we rarely abide by) with a shower; wait a little while to start on the hair (hello, Chi straightener!); take at least 45 minutes to go through 17 outfits to eventually settle on one (because, ugh, there’s just nothing else to wear!); then we skillfully paint our faces with makeup … and stare at ourselves in the mirror for a few minutes.
Pictures and pregaming commence, and by the time we’re sufficiently late, we’re out the door. All the while, our phones buzz with texts and BBMs from the boys who are patiently awaiting our arrival that read, “Come now. What’s taking so long?” Well, it’s this: we're putting ourselves together in a way that just might impress our potential suitors. And it works. We look hot, so they want to talk to us. But some guys do not have the best discretion when it comes to conversation starters. The pick-up lines they come up with are certainly amusing and sometimes even flattering, and yet this form of “bait n’ tackle” never seems to fail.
A guy’s choice of clichéd phrasing can reveal quite a lot about his intentions and how much he’s actually interested in a girl. However he decides to “woo” her, it seems that, for reasons unbeknownst to me, they usually work. Maybe he does have charm, after all. Maybe by the time he starts talking, she’s just itching for someone to notice her, and anyone will do. Maybe she wore really nice underwear that night, and she just wants someone to see it. Whatever the story, we all listen to the sweet talk and (usually) eat up every little bit of the pick-up schtick. Each line tends to be worse than the next, but perhaps there’s a little more to them than the cheese-factor that sometimes makes us cringe… let’s take a look.
The Pick-Up Line: "Can I buy you a drink?"
The Bottom Line: All right, so it’s a fair attempt. He gets a B+ for effort, but an F for creativity. Still, he just offered you a free drink, so you might as well take it. Maybe he’s got a little more to offer in the way of personality, but it’s up to you to make a choice: stay and chat long enough to see if he’s worth the energy, or grab your glass and go.
Verdict: Keeper! He’s paying, so stick around for a little while ... or at least until after you’ve taken the first sip.
The Pick-Up Line: "Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!"
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together."
"It’s a good thing I brought my gloves today; otherwise, you’d be too hot to handle."
The Bottom Line: Um ... NO. If he whips out one of these babies, run. Either he’s joking (in which case, not funny) or he’s being totally serious (in which case, nice try). Pick-up lines like these might be funny, but they certainly won’t make us swoon. Some of them are just laughable, so whatever the reason he has for spitting lines like these is just not good enough.
Verdict: Creeper. Yep, just run.
The Pick-Up Line: "Do you want to leave?"
The Bottom Line: Well, do you? You know what this means, girls, and in 10 minutes flat you'll be at his beer-laden frat house and headed straight for his bunk bed. If you're interested, go for it, but know that this guy probably isn't interested in getting to know you. All he wants to find out is how long it’ll take for him to get your bra off.
Verdict: Keeper ... but only ’til the sun comes up, and if you’re interested in that sort of thing, go for it. If you’re not okay with this sort of meaningless, random hook-up, don’t agree to go home with him in the first place. It’ll leave you disappointed and him less than, well, satisfied.
The Pick-Up Line: Text/BBM sent after midnight that reads, “Are you out tonight?”
The Bottom Line: Booty call! Regardless of your past with this guy, he thinks it'll be easy to get what he wants by sending a silly text message in the middle of the night. His words are as transparent as his motives when you have to read them on your cellphone screen – and therefore, he’s probably not worth your time or compliance. But if you can't resist his late-night meet-up proposal, give him a run for his money by playing a little hard to get. If you don't want to give in to his oversized ego, don't even bother with a response.
Verdict: Creeper. A little rejection never hurt anyone.
The Pick-Up Line: "We should hang out sometime."
The Bottom Line: If a guy isn’t planning on following through with this one, he probably wouldn’t say it in the first place. He’d rather talk to you in a place that’s calmer than a bar, and he wants to see if you’re at all into him by the way you respond. Because let’s face it: it’s hard to read people when music is blasting, lights are flashing, crowds are rowdy, and you’re four drinks past your limit.
Verdict: Keeper (as long as there’s a follow-up the next day)!
The Pick-Up Line: "Hey."
The Bottom Line: Ah, the simplest of greetings but perhaps the most complex. Maybe he said it because he thinks he’s cool. Maybe he said it because he’s nervous. Maybe he said it because you’re so beautiful that he couldn’t think of anything more creative to say. Regardless, this address leaves the conversation open-ended and very much two-sided. He’s listening to you, but is unsure about whether or not you’re going to listen to him. But, then again, maybe he was just saying hello, and the girl he’s really after is across the room. Damn, maybe next time.
Verdict: Keeper! Go for normal conversation after this introduction and see where it leads!
Whatever his approach, we all know that feeling we get when we sense a guy is getting interested in us: nervous stomach, averted eye contact, aggressive hair twirling and the occasional stutter. With that one line, however horrendous it may be, our nightly three-hour preparation routines become worth something. It’s nothing profound, but we gain the sense that some of our hard work has paid off. Guys may not understand why we do what we do, but they’re interested because of it – not to mention because of our mind-blowing charm. We’ll wait for the “woo”-factor – maybe even take matters into our own hands if we’re feeling particularly confident – and at some point, we’ll experience that meaningful conversation that might lead to something more. But until that day comes, yes boys, you may buy us a drank.