The past few years for me have all been about making choices; choices over school, family, and friends. Some of the choices I’ve made have utterly been the hardest decisions in my life so far. Moving on to different places has been hard. I’ve had to let go of people I care about so dearly because I knew their time in my life was over. While they were hard to make, every one of my choices has defined and changed me into the young woman I am today.
With going to college and coming into yourself as an adult, you find that you are on your own. At this point, everything, even the smallest thing, comes down to making a choice. Anything you decide should be a decision that you believe will benefit you, making you a better person in the end. So I’m making my choice. I will not date while in I’m school and will remain a virgin until I find someone I see myself marrying in the future. Contrary to what people believe today, it is not impossible to go through college like this.
As far as how I made my choice, it was based on how I was raised. My mom would tell me and my brother the same thing every time we went out of her sight: “Remember who you are and whose you are.” That basically meant remember what we were taught and who we were the products of: her and our father. It also meant that everything I was taught and believed in my parents’ house shouldn’t change since I left and it hasn’t. Going to college, it wasn’t that hard to keep believing in what I was taught, even though there was plenty of temptation around on campus.
My family always told me to focus on school. I have an older relative who is a preacher who would tell me that books and boys don’t mix, and I’m making sure that they won’t. While I’m in school, I want to entitle my time to earning my degree. The idea of dating to me is seen as just a plus, not my main priority. I’m more concerned with finishing up my education than finding my college sweetheart or soul mate. I’m young; I have plenty of time after college to date and possibly fall in love.
Not dating in college has been met with its bit of difficulty. Of course I’m going to notice the amazingly attractive guys on campus; how could I not? When guys would talk to me and try to flirt, part of me would just want to send the guy off, not give him a second thought. On the other hand, I would often think about just forgetting everything and give in to the flirtation. I’d developed a crush on a guy and thought that if he gave me a chance, I could give it up just to date him. I knew, though, that if I kept my promise, it would be better for me in the long run.
If a guy tells me he likes me and asks me out, I tell him the truth. Some guys may blow me off and not talk to me anymore. Something like this happened to me. I went to a club with some friends and I met this guy and started dancing. I went home with my friends that night without him but got his number and texted him as I made my way back to my dorm. Within five minutes of conversation, he told me that he wanted me to go home with him that night. I told him that I couldn’t and thought that that would be the end of it. After a couple of weeks, though, he kept bugging me, wanting to know when I was going to see him again and possibly spend the night. Finally I told him the truth about me and he hasn’t talked to me again since. Other guys understood where I was coming from. My freshman year of college, I met two guys that became close friends of mine. On two separate occasions, I learned that they both liked me. As I did with the other guy, I told them the truth, and they understood. We were actually able to remain friends.