Whether or not you currently have a guy to hold your hand, summer relationships of any kind – hook-ups, dating, flings, boyfriends – are on your mind. To take the guesswork out of trying to mind read the guy in your life (or the guys you haven’t even met yet), we got the answers straight from the guys themselves.
We surveyed 35 college guys about dates, exclusivity, if they think any of our summer relationships (or flings) will last once the sun’s gone, and what they really want out of a summer relationship. Here’s what the guys had to say:
On What They’re Looking for This Summer:
Whatever you’re hoping to find in a guy this summer – a casual fling, a bunch of hook-ups, a serious boyfriend, or absolutely nothing at all – there’s a boy out there who wants the same thing. The guys were fairly evenly split between these answers; it’s a clear indication that not all boys are looking for a summer hook-up, nor are they all hoping for a girlfriend for the months of June through August. Mike, Northeastern ’13, responded that he has the “anything that comes my way” approach. You might start the summer hoping for one thing, but meet a guy that changes your mind. Keep your options open, because you may change his mind, too.
A bit surprising, but still fabulous; over 80 percent of the guys said that, if they were in one, they would still consider a summer relationship to be exclusive. Apparently it’s not all about summer flings. One guy explained that whether or not a relationship (or hook-up) is exclusive, his decision “depends on the girl, not the season.” Moh, Boston College ’14, also said the relationship status (whether it’s official or just a casual hook-up) depends on what the girl wants. As in any relationship, make sure your intentions are clear from the beginning. Of course, your feelings or decision may change, but at least you were honest from the get-go. Looking for a long-term boyfriend? Let him know. In for just a casual hook-up? Tell him early on.
On How Long It Will Last:
All we have to say is, the boys in this survey are real winners. 95 percent of them said that if a relationship started over the summer, the only deciding factor for how long it will last would be the girl – if she’s worth it, it could last well past the few summer months. Andy, San Francisco State ’13, said, “I only look for relationships to last. I never understood relationships with a timer on them.” Maybe you know you’re moving once August hits, but, as the saying goes, cross that bridge when you come to it. A recent Syracuse University grad in our survey said, “Sometimes people’s lives take them in opposite directions.” Other times, though, what he likes to call the "Grease" effect happens: “People just end up popping into your lives again.” Either way, he says, “once Labor Day rolls around, it’s decision time.” Unless, of course, you’ve already discussed this back in June.
On Where They Want To Go on Dates:
The number one response from our guy crowd: the beach. Nearly all 35 of them chose something beach-related. It wasn’t all about the cheesy romantic walk on the beach with these guys, though. The beach gives them a casual, inexpensive, and fun place to hang out with you. Moh, Boston College ’14, said he’d enjoy a date on the beach, grabbing ice cream, going for a walk on the boardwalk, and watching the sun set. “I’m all about dates that allow for great conversation,” he said.