You’ll never forget when you first saw him – at the beach, at the pool, walking around your hometown… He’s what you were looking for or what you were trying to avoid (if you, like us, aren’t a fan of goodbyes). He’s been your constant companion and the source of your denial about the impending school year. Your girls would argue that he’s the ‘Danny’ to your ‘Sandy’ à la “Grease.” Who is he? Your summer fling, of course!
It’s a bittersweet relationship. At first, it seemed like an awesome idea to start up a romance when the whole summer was yours for the taking. Summer is about enjoying a break from the typical semester life and kicking back a little, right? But as summer went on and the two of you got closer, you were reminded of the all-too-true fact: come August or September, your relationship would face inevitable change. You have to make a decision: do you stay together or call it quits?
At this point, you may be weighing the pros and cons and have a general idea about what you’d like to happen with the relationship. Unfortunately, you aren’t the only one with a stake in the decision. You may be wondering if what’s running through your mind is similar to what’s running through his. Does he want to see where your relationship goes? Does he even have the time once school starts? What would he expect of you if you continued on with your relationship? All are valid questions to ask, and if you’re searching for some answers, you’re in luck: Her Campus talked to 14 guys around the country about their thoughts on making a summer fling last into fall!
The Big Factors
Here are the top three things to consider when prolonging your summer fling according to guys:
How often you and your sweetie are able to see each other is obviously affected by how far away you are from each other. You’re in Cali and he’s in The Big Apple? You might find that the distance is too great to make your relationship worth it (or even make it work). About 15 percent of guys said distance was their biggest factor. Jacob, a sophomore from the University of Iowa, learned this from experience: “My ex-girlfriend and I had a good relationship, but ultimately we were going to different schools (that were far apart) and we still had three years of school left. A few months or even a year of long distances would’ve been worthy of consideration… But there was no way I’d do that for three years.”
Dylan, a junior from Wichita State University, said that he’d think about distance before the relationship got to be serious: “If we were too far apart, I wouldn’t allow myself to become too attached to begin with.”
Almost 50 percent of the guys we talked to said that ‘seriousness,’ or how much potential they saw in the relationship, was the most important factor in deciding whether or not to stay together. “Ultimately it depends on what you're looking for,” says Cliff, a senior from Arizona State University, “If you are hoping for a real long-term relationship and you see that your summer fling has potential to turn into that, you shouldn't let the other factors get in the way.”
If you and your guy are both involved in a ton of organizations or working part-time jobs, you may want to ask yourselves if you even have the time to maintain a relationship (especially if distance is involved and you’d want to communicate regularly). Twenty-five percent of guys, including Ben, a senior from the University of Missouri, said that time commitment would be the biggest factor in their decision. “I’m way too busy for a girlfriend during the semester,” said Ben. “I don’t want a relationship to be a top priority in my life right now so I don’t see myself devoting time out of my day each day for that. I’d rather wait until I’ve graduated [to be in a relationship].”