A Disney Princess Guide to Your Not So Happily Ever After

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Remember way back in the ‘90s when you wanted to grow up to be a Disney Princess? Maybe you dressed up as Cinderella for Halloween or never went anywhere without your trusty royal tiara or sparkly heels. Or maybe, like me, you dressed up the family dog as the Little Mermaid just for laughs. As collegiettes, we were raised on Disney movies from Snow White to Cinderella, from Sleeping Beauty to Beauty and the Beast, and we learned more than a few simple lessons in love. We were taught to believe that every girl is a princess and deserves a prince, as well as her own happily ever after ending.

But now, after frat boys and weekend hookups, awkward drunk texting mishaps and secretly pining for that cute guy who sits next to you in English class, a happily ever after seems pretty hard to come by on campus… but that’s what we’re supposed to believe, right? If there’s one thing Disney has drilled into us, it’s that dreams really do come true.
 
But if you pop in one of these classic movies and read beyond the basic princess-meets-prince storyline, you’ll come to realize that real life lessons can be learned from our favorite princesses. Here’s a comprehensive guide to finding your own happily ever after, brought to you by our favorite Disney fairytales and the princesses we idolized as little girls.

snow white

Snow White

As "the fairest in the land," Disney’s first princess, Snow White, is just like "that girl" at the kegger. You know the type – she loves attention from guys and she needs a group of them circled around her at all times. Co-ed living isn’t so out of the norm, but living with seven guys? That sounds like a frat house. Yuck. And although Snow White wasn’t hooking up with Sneezy, Dopey, and Grumpy, she’s definitely acting like their housewife. She caters to their every whim, cleans their house (with rabid cute and cuddly woodland animals), and cooks them hot meals, all the while waiting around for Prince Charming to ride in on his noble steed and sweep her off her feet. For lack of a better term, she’s a doormat for guys, not to mention a bit of a drama queen.

Princess Lesson #1 – Don’t be a Doormat for Guys

Want to make a prince campus cutie fall head over heels in love with you? Hanging around a house full of guys probably isn’t the best bet. Playing the jealousy card can backfire in the worst way. Not to mention that letting guys walk all over you and acting like a servant does not create respect in a relationship, and no one wants someone they can’t respect.

sleeping beauty

Sleeping Beauty

Picture this – you fall into a magical, semi-conscious stupor only to be awakened by the kiss of a prince. This sounds a little all-too familiar doesn’t it, collegiettes? It sounds to me like Princess Aurora aka “Sleeping Beauty” had one too many margaritas at the bar with her friends on Thirsty Thursday and woke up to a sloppy frat boy sucking her face.

Princess Lesson #2 – Avoid Drunk Hook-ups

If there’s one thing you can learn from Sleeping Beauty (and one too many vodka tonics), it’s this: drunken hookups are not sexy. Despite what happens in the movie, we know that not every guy who kisses you back to life or who you meet in the woods alone (creeper much?) is a prince. If you want to meet real guys and not just opportunists hanging by the bar, avoid Aurora’s scenario. And as for the “evil witch” who cast that spell? Well, we’ll just call her Smirnoff and leave it at that.

aladdin jasmine

Jasmine

You just met the man of your Disney-inspired dreams. Sure, he’s a little shabby, but he’s adventurous and funny, he treats you right and his dorm has the best view of campus (not to mention he has a pretty rad carpet). You’re most likely not in an arranged political marriage like Jasmine, but you might be pressured to date other guys. Your friends and family don’t get “what you see in that guy” and you’re unfazed by that perfect guy from home who your mom is trying to hook you up with (“he’s pre-med, honey!”). Do what Jasmine did – follow your heart even if it means “climbing the palace walls,” so to speak.

Princess Lesson #3 – Look for the “Diamond in the Rough”

I’m not saying that if you’re greeted by a man in shabby clothes covered in dirt you should allow him to lead you down dark alleys and abandoned buildings into his “home.” But take a word of advice from the Sultan’s daughter – sometimes overlooking the flashy princes and giving the grungier-looking guy in the corner a second glance isn’t always a bad idea. He might just be a “diamond in the rough.”

Also as a side note, it doesn’t hurt to have a pet to cuddle with when that “dream guy” doesn’t work out. Tiger cats (like Rajah) are awesome.

Belle

Seeing Belle and Beast, you might call their relationship borderline abusive (Beast has some serious anger management issues). Sure, he’s a little hairy and is severely lacking in table manners (he eats soup like a dog), but… he’s a guy, right? And what are guys if not hairy and messy? You can change him, right?

Princess Lesson #4 –  You Can’t Change Him

Wrong! Don’t make Belle’s mistake and let your boyfriend become your project. Just because you might be able to teach him how to properly use silverware or ballroom dance doesn’t mean you can change a “beast” into a prince, no matter how much of a monster he was before you met him. Instead, try following some of Belle’s better examples of engaging in your boyfriend’s favorite hobbies – reading, playing in snowball fights, ballroom dancing, anything that you both can enjoy. 

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About The Author

Alexandra is a graduate from the University of New Hampshire and the current Assistant Digital Editor at Martha Stewart Living. As a journalism student, she worked as the Director of UNH’s Student Press Organization (SPO) and on staff for four student publications on her campus. In the summer of 2010, she studied abroad at Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge University, in England where she drank afternoon tea, rode the Tube, but sadly no, she did not meet Prince Harry. Since beginning her career, she's eagerly chased down stories from travel-blogging about Will and Kate’s Canadian tour to interviewing the neighbors of J.D. Salinger in rural New Hampshire after his death. She recently moved to the big city and is loving every minute of it! When not in the Manhattan office, she can be found perusing travel magazines to plan her next road trip, walking her two dogs (both named Rocky), or practicing ballet. Chat with her on Twitter @allie_churchill!

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