After two or three years of college, the college dating scene can get a little old. Maybe it’s gotten to the point where you can’t walk across campus without seeing a past hook-up buddy, boyfriend or one of their current girlfriends. If this sounds like the situation you’re in, it’s time to try something new – or, shall we say, someone new.
With the fall semester quickly approaching, we’ll say so long to summer and hello to the new crop of campus cuties: freshman boys. Dating a freshman guy certainly has its advantages. “One of the perks is that it gives you a much bigger playing field of options for dating, and you have more experience as an upperclassman to know what you want physically as well as emotionally,” says Dr. Brenda Schaeffer, a psychologist and sex addiction expert.
“You may also find it easier to share your power rather than give it away to someone older and bolder,” Dr. Schaeffer adds. “You have more opportunities to enter a relationship, be in a relationship and end a relationship, which are important discoveries at this time of life.”
That all sounds good, right? But since you’re older and bolder than he is, he may be looking for you to fill one or more roles in his college life. Read on to find out what they are and how to handle being placed in each one...
How hard would it be for you to seduce ... err snag yourself a freshy? It’s rumored that a sexy older woman is every guy’s fantasy. If that’s true, you’re his dream girl, and he may put you up on a pedestal ... for all of his freshman friends to see.
Yes, you’re fabulous, and any guy should be proud to be with you. But if he’s just looking for eye candy and bragging rights, he’s not respecting you. Make sure the age difference isn’t the defining point of the relationship (i.e., he’s only with you to fulfill his little fantasy).
“When your freshy seems to be spending more time bragging to his friends about the upperclassman who has the hots for him than paying attention to you and your needs, it’s a big red flag,” says Dr. Carole Lieberman, psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets.
“Does he really know or care who you are, besides that you’re older, smarter and can invite him to cooler parties?” Dr. Lieberman asks. “If he’s not mature enough to appreciate what else you bring to the relationship on a more intimate level, then you need to show him that you’re not willing to just be labeled his ‘sexual conquest.’”