From tips in magazines and movies to advice from friends and family, you’ve all heard what you should and shouldn’t do in a relationship or fling. And well certain dating rules shouldn’t be broken (don’t bash your exes), Her Campus is here to tell you what six rules you can break and how to break them.
Rule to Break #1: Never Call Him First
Why wouldn’t you call him first? If you are interested in a guy and want to get in touch with him—either just to hear his voice or to ask him out, go for it! “If a guy asks for my number and then doesn’t call, sometimes I’ll call him. If he answers, I know I might have a chance. If he doesn’t answer, I just delete his number and try to forget about him. It’s better to take a chance than to sit around and hope he calls,” says Michelle*, a junior at the University of Michigan.
The way to master the call is to keep things casual and try not to sound too eager or nervous. Just pretend like you’re calling up one of your friends. Start by saying hello and asking him how his day is going. But remember, most guys don’t like unnecessary chit-chat. Keep your phone call short and sweet and to-the-point—in a language he can understand. If the point of your call is to ask him out on a date, see if he’s interested in going out for dinner or drinks on Friday. You can usually judge how he’s feeling from the tone of his voice and his reactions to what you’re saying. If he’s an awkward phone talker (some guys are), make your judgment based on how he is in person when you see him next.
Rule to Break #2: The Guy Should Always Pay
The guy is most likely on a limited budget just like you. We know it’s tradition for the guy to pay, but if his wallet is empty after the first few dates, he may not be able to afford your relationship. After all, money can’t buy love. Take turns paying and offer to split the bill once in a while. This will make him feel appreciated and not taken advantage of when it comes to who pays.
“If your date refuses to let you pay your portion for dinner, offer to pay for the popcorn or movie tickets. If you are already in a relationship, you can just switch off every other time, so that you pay for dinner this one time, and he pays for it the next. Especially in longer lasting relationships, it eventually evens out so that both parties have equal and literal investment in each other!” says Julia Kennedy, a sophomore and HC Campus Correspondent for the University of Portland.
Rule to Break #3: Leave Your Relationship up to “Fate”
Your first instinct might be to go with the flow and let things happen on their own. This isn’t always the best option. What happens when your fate and his fate don’t see eye-to-eye? You’re better off figuring things out early on. Follow your gut instead of fate. If things aren’t working out (he’s always late for dates, he forgets about the movie night you had planned, etc.), walk away.
You have the freedom to decide where you want the relationship to go. You can wish upon a shooting star that he will love you forever, or you can ask him how he really feels and make the choice to keep dating him or to look elsewhere for love.
Rule to Break #4: Don’t Accept a Last-Minute Offer
Sometimes spontaneity is key. You can’t plan everything in life, especially not all the impromptu dates that come your way. The best way to accept a last minute offer is to simply say yes without thinking too much about your decision (assuming you’re actually free). If it’s an invite to a date party that’s starting in less than five hours, raid your roomies’ closets for a fabulous dress, enlist their help with hair and makeup, and head over to the frat to begin the pregame. Even if it’s a blind date, this could be a perfect way to open up new doors—and maybe even meet your future boyfriend!
“An old high school friend had been texting me all week and I wasn’t really into him, but when the weekend rolled around and he asked me out to eat, I thought why not? I didn’t have any other plans and figured I had nothing to lose. I ended up having a great time and we’ve hung out a few times since,” says Nicole*, a senior at Florida State University.
Rule to Break #5: Refuse to Date Your Ex’s Best Friend
If you dated a guy for a couple weeks back in middle school, his best friend is not off-limits. In order to date your ex’s best friend without being branded a heartless collegiette, you should make sure a few things are in place: you and your ex are on a talking basis, his best friend is aware that the two of you used to date, the break-up was long enough ago that all hurt feelings are long gone.
If all parties involved know what’s going on and are okay with the situation, you don’t have to fake your feelings or miss out on dating a really cool guy who just so happens to be your ex’s best friend. Just make sure you aren’t dating him to make your ex mad. Honesty is an easy way to ensure you won’t get hurt if you choose to break this dating rule.
Rule to Break #6: Never Date Someone Who Lives on Your Floor
We say go right ahead and date the guy who lives next door to you—just don’t move in with him or have sleepovers every single night. A major perk to dating the guy in your dorm or apartment complex is convenience. You won’t have to trek across campus to see him or do the walk of shame in the morning. And since he’s so close by, you won’t constantly wonder what he’s up to (you probably shouldn’t do this anyway). In order for this type of relationship to last, you have to give each other some space and continue to do your own thing once in a while.
“My boyfriend lives five doors down from me and I've been extremely happy with him since the middle of last semester. We didn't know each other at all before we were neighbors! Sometimes being so close makes it hard to remember to give each other space, but usually I'm glad that seeing him is so effortless,” says Caitlin Kelly, a junior at the University of Connecticut.
We have enough rules to follow, so we say go ahead and break these dating rules. Follow our tips and see for yourself how fun it is to call him first or to go on a last minute date. Wondering if you should break a certain dating rule? Ask us in the comments!
*Names have been changed