So you’re going out a lot, meeting a lot of guys, and yet, none of them are asking you out. What’s the problem? Are you too available? Not available enough? Read on, collegiettes™, for the five moves that are ruining your game.
1. You’re too drunk
“Yeah, I met this adorable guy last night. He was so cute, I think his name was Henry? But I can’t find anything similar in my phone. Could he be Hat Guy? I don’t remember him wearing a hat . . .” Any of this sound familiar? If you’re too drunk to remember parts of your night, follow-through is going to be tough. How do you even remember if you liked the guy? Or what you talked about? This will make for an awkward situation . . . if you ever see him again.
What to do: Stick to one or two drinks.
If you really want to make a good impression, don’t be buying the bar (for yourself). When you stay lucid, you have a much better chance of remembering names, conversations, and most importantly, looking cute (not to mention staying safe).
2. You’re too flirty
It’s important to look interested in the guys you’re talking to (if you actually are, that is!). But hanging all over multiple guys at one party/bar sends a signal that you’re not interested in getting to know anyone personally (i.e., you’re just looking to hook up.) Are you interested in the guy who’s skeezing on every girl at the bar? No, you think he’s creepy, and guys will think the same thing about you.
LiLo gets, uh, cozy.
What to do: Save displays of physical attention for ONE guy that you are interested in.
It’s fine to flirt and talk to guys, but if you’re going for something more, don’t spread the Christmas cheer too much.
3. You came with an entourage
Yes, it is fun to go out with ten of your girlfriends. But not for the guy who’s trying to get your attention. Girl groups are intimidating. Would you waltz up to an entire football team and just start talking to the quarterback? (Okay, maybe you would. I don’t know you. But what I’m saying is, that is GUTSY).
The right amount for a girls' night out!
What to do: If the goal of the night is meeting a guy, only bring one or two friends out.
This small number signals that you are interested in joining a social group, not playing by yourselves all night. Face out to the room/bar so that you seem approachable.
4. You can barely hear yourself over the music
Tired real estate idioms apply here: meeting guys is all about location, location, location. If you’re at a club that has the house music turned up so loud you can’t even hear your friend yelling in your ear, there is no way you’re going to make a connection with a potential suitor (at least not an intellectual one).
What to do: Hit a more relaxed bar or house party.
Better yet? Try out a sports bar with pool or other games—then challenge the cutest guy you see to a round! It’s much easier to make a connection when you’re chatting over an activity.
5. You’re crying
This sounds silly, but if you’re not feeling up to a night out, you don’t need to force it! If you’re just getting over a break-up or a bad grade, combining that with alcohol is not going to have good results. No guy is going to approach the girl with mascara running down her face.
None of this, Sammi!
What to do: Put yourself in a good state of mind before heading out.
Play upbeat music, dance with your friends, and tell yourself not to stress about the outcome of the night. If you don’t meet a guy, so what! It’s still a fun night out.
We’ve all hit one of these potholes before, but if the goal is getting a dude’s digits, it’s best to avoid them! The best tip? Be relaxed, confident, and have fun. That energy is magnetic!