5 Things Your Boyfriend Should Never Know

We're always told to be honest, upfront, and open with our significant others, but some things are best left out of relationships. Think twice before you over-share, because we can think of at least five things that your boyfriend shouldn't, doesn't, and never will want to know…

“I have a mustache!”
Bleach, wax, shave, laser, pluck, tweeze, pull, or cover up—I don’t care how you deal with excess hair, and neither does your man. The occasional complaint is not necessarily off-limits (“It’s so unfair that you don’t have to shave your legs!” or “Waxes are so expensive!”) but the logistics of your hair removal are better left between you and your friends. And your follicles. Why? Not only will your boyfriend immediately picture you with a Grover Cleveland style handlebar mustache, but he’ll also have nothing to add to the conversation so you’ll be left feeling both stupid and hairy. 
 
“Here are the details surrounding my horrible stomach flu!”
I too have read the canonical literary work Everybody Poops. But notice that the sequel …And Here are the Graphic Detailsnever got published.  Your boyfriend is more than welcome to bring you chicken soup when you get sick (or, in this case, water and toast), but then he should probably leave and let you do the dirty work.  Call me old-fashioned, but I come from the school of ‘what happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom.’

“I had (another) sex dream about my ex!”
You can be open and honest without divulging every detail of your waking and sleeping life.  Had sex with your ex? Tell him.  Dreaming about sex with your ex? Keep it to yourself.  It’s not like you feel compelled to tell him about the weird dragon fight or topless midterm recurring nightmare.  What’s the point of starting a fight and making him feel insecure when you could just roll over and cuddle with the guy who’s actuallyin your bed?