How to Handle Relationships Abroad When Your Program Ends

Past fantasies of meeting a foreign boy during your study abroad trip are no longer relevant. You met him, you courted and now you’re in the throes of a full-blown foreign affair. His debonair looks and boyish accent are so irresistible that you’re quite perplexed at how to leave the relationship as your time abroad comes to a close. Do you come away with nothing more than memories of a romantic tryst in a faraway land or do you attempt to conquer the longest long-distance relationship ever? Oh, the decisions of worldly collegiettes!

The way we see it here at Her Campus, you’ve got three basic options. While it may be hard to decide which to go with, we’re here to guide you with expert relationship advice from psychologist Dr. Susan Pazak and real life stories from girls who began relationships of their own while in a foreign country. 

Option 1: What Happens in a Foreign Country, Stays in a Foreign Country… 

As any study abroad veteran can tell you, there are some things you really enjoy while abroad yet don’t necessarily care to bring back to the States for whatever reason: ice cream shops on every corner (hello, calories!), the ability to walk everywhere (do their feet never get tired?), a flirtatious stud muffin with eyes that peer right into your soul (so, how’s this long-distance thing going to work out?). 

Macey, a student at the University of Maine, says of her relationship with Owen, an Irish lad she met in England, (cue dreamy sighs), “our time together had a clear expiration date.” And this is indicative of many flings abroad. They’re good enough to continue until you board that plane home but not quite enough to bring past the border. “It was fun to hang out with him and get to know him and his friends, but things remained super casual,” she adds. “In a way, this was a good thing because near the end of our time he got a little clingy, and since I was leaving I didn't have to have ‘the talk’ with him. He doesn't have Facebook or Skype, so it was weird to leave knowing I will never see him again.”

Advice from the Expert: “For girls who have a clear breakup after meeting someone abroad, the perspective to take will be to look at the value of the experience –hopefully with no regrets,” says Dr. Pazak. “Look at the situation as meeting someone and having some nice times and memories together.  If there are regrets, work through the negative thoughts and feelings, process them and let them go, focusing on the lesson and experience.”