As your Thursday night comes to a close, you can’t help but wonder why you either a) didn’t meet anyone new at a frat-house filled with people, b) didn’t really have any great conversations with anyone, or c) didn’t go home with a guy’s number. For the most highly-anticipated night of the week, you can’t help but feel that it was kind of a bust because all you really did was get unpleasantly drunk while standing in a circle with your 5 best girlfriends chit-chatting about how the punch is surprisingly delicious. Perhaps there’s a reason that some nights come and go without a conversation with new (or particularly hot) people/men. As nice and approachable as collegiettes can be, we can sometimes revert to behaviors that say, “Don’t talk to me, I’m not interested,” instead of “I think you’re cute and want to talk to you.” Guys will turn the other way if they feel that you’re unapproachable or just plain b*tchy. Here are some signs you might be unintentionally giving off that keep people away for fear that you might, like, rip their heads off if they even think about speaking to you…
Your face is constantly buried in your phone.
As far as anyone around you is concerned, you’re more preoccupied with whoever it is you’re texting than with whoever is at the party. Whatever the reason (you’re feeling awkward and need to look like you have other friends; you’re genuinely waiting for someone to text you back; you’re involved in a really intense game of Words with Friends…), it becomes clear to the people you’re with that you’re just not interested in engaging with them. If that’s not the case, then put your phone away. (If that is the case, however, you might as well leave.) Your phone screen isn’t going to illuminate an image of a cute guy – rather, he’s standing across the room wondering if you’re going to accept or reject his attempt to have a conversation with you. The same goes for those long walks across campus. By gluing your eyes to your phone, you’re avoiding contact with everyone – guy, girl, friend, non-friend – who passes you. Give your thumbs a rest while you’re out to avoid seeming totally uninterested in the people you’re with.
Your arms are always crossed.
That stance, that glare – both scream, “Don’t mess with me.” Standing around with your arms crossed makes you seem particularly unhappy and completely unapproachable. The effect is magnified about 10 times if you’re wearing sunglasses. This closed-off posture is simply uninviting, and it makes you seem really intimidating to guys and girls alike. Release your arms from this restrictive position and let them hang by your sides. Instead of slumping into your hips, stand straight up – this gives off an air of confidence as opposed to arrogance. Just relax, and be open to conversation.
You abuse sarcasm while texting.
We know all too well that sarcasm simply doesn’t translate via text message. Jokes get lost in translation and playful remarks become downright mean when they’re expressed in animated speech bubbles. Scale back on the sarcasm if you’re texting a guy you don’t know too well. Chances are he’ll get confused (and maybe even offended) by your supposed-to-be-funny “insults.” Reserve these little digs for in-person use only, or until he gets to know your humor a little better. He’ll be able to appreciate your sarcasm if he knows to expect it. Anything too strong or ambiguous sent via text can be misinterpreted – something that was sent in a light-hearted manner can be received as blatantly mean.
Your 263 Facebook profile pictures are exclusively of your face.
“So, you think you’re really pretty?” As much as we just hate her, Regina George resonates with us, and many of her lines have shamelessly made their way into our day-to-day interactions with girlfriends and guy friends (whether they can identify these references or not) alike. Ironically, self-centered photographs are probably what would dominate Regina’s Facebook page, but this shouldn’t be true for nice-girl collegiettes. To avoid coming off as conceited, mix up your Profile Pictures album with some pictures of friends and family here and there. Feature a ridiculous picture of you and your friends dressed up on Halloween to show that you’ve got a killer sense of humor; put up a picture of you and your younger sibling to get a few “AWW, so adorable!” comments beneath it. As superficial as Facebook can be, try your best to represent yourself as more than just a pretty face.