Who knew Google searches could be so literary? Google Poetics is a collection of poems created by Google’s autocomplete function. Contributors type a few words and autocomplete composes a few lines of “poetry” at random, resulting in some hilarious literary works. Since contributors never edit the poems and the autocomplete results change over time, the blog is constantly getting fresh new material, ranging from the metaphysical to the heartbroken. This creative new form has garnered hundreds of submissions from readers since the blog’s launch in October 2012, but we’ve selected the funniest poems for your entertainment! No need to brush up on your Hemingway, because the following creations require a completely different type of artistic appreciation.
1.
And we thought our first kiss was bad! We aren’t sure if this poet has high standards or terrible luck in dating — either way, their melodramatic reaction makes for some pretty hilarious poetry.
2.
We hate it when that happens! I guess now we know how the Genie feels. This relatable poem should be featured in an Aladdin spinoff movie. (Can you believe the first one came out more than two decades ago? And now you feel old.)
3.
This is either the most interesting wedding vow we’ve ever heard or Taco Bell’s best marketing campaign yet (a “Welcome to Taco Land” greeting when we ordered wouldn’t hurt business either, just sayin’).
4.
Nothing is more frustrating than when your enemy knows they look good with a handlebar mustache.
5.
College admissions offices weren’t impressed with this poet’s answer to “Where will you be in 10 years?” Then again, if they offered a major in Mystical Creatures, this poet’s ambitions would be more feasible.
6.
It’s your typical espionage mission gone awry (turns out an open refrigerator door is more distracting than you think).
7.
Life after love does exist! And it is all the sweeter with a generous dose of nuts (or just one).
8.
Rent was a bit higher this month, but not by a kill-your-landlord amount. Plus, those complimentary chocolates by the front desk make it really hard to hate the guy.
9.
Better question: Why do Lego pieces blend perfectly into the carpet so we injure ourselves every time we walk barefoot? And is it acceptable to visit the ER afterward?
10.
Admitting it is the first step, though this confessions list has us torn between recommending an AA meeting or an acting agency. There’s a casting call for carrots on Broadway, right?
11.
We can’t be the only ones who are curious about if the first line’s results would actualy be helpful. But Google inception aside, which is more important: your Windows 7 password or your identity? It’s okay, we can’t decide either.
12.
We hope My Little Pony wasn’t the reason behind the first two lines, but we have to admit that exposure therapy to cute cartoon ponies seems like an awesome way to get over a fear (unless you’re terrified of ponies).
13.
If you have to ask, then you don’t know and you don’t have design major friends. We didn’t make the elitist typeface code of friendship — we just follow it.
14.
Being a desirable tomato in the army is not easy. Seriously, is this forced plotline in a Pixar movie yet?
15.
Nothing washes away uncertainty quite like a few glasses of chardonnay, even if it did come out of a box. And the buzz sure helps that ringing in your ears (or are those concerned family members calling?).