1. Calling for pizza at 2 a.m. is not a ridiculous request.
2. You can’t get in trouble for keeping pizzas in your freezer.
3. Your friends and family already approve of pizza.
4. You can dress up a pizza however you’d like.
5. Pizza will respect your decision to stay single and keep you company with no expectations of romantic involvement.
6. Every pizza can pull off being “cheesy.”
7. Pizza can be at your door in 30 minutes or less.
8. A surprise visit from pizza is always welcome.
9. You don’t mind claiming leftover pizza.
10. Pizza will always be there for you in your time of need.
11. You never have to settle with pizza — you can order exactly what you want, when you want it.
12. Even when pizza’s not hot, it’s desirable.
13. A date with pizza is never awkward.
14. Pizza knows how to be sweet in a subtle way.
15. You will not regret mixing pizza and alcohol.
16. With pizza, the only baby you need to worry about is a food baby.