Can I Friend My Boss?: Digital Etiquette At The Office

Whether you're waiting for that Abercrombie model look-alike from your chem lab to text you back or you accidentally sent out a thread meant for only you and your bestie to your entire Facebook friend list, sometimes technology makes our lives more complicated, not easier. While interacting with your friends via texts, Twitter and Facebook is one thing, adding bosses, co-workers and your entire office into the mix makes for the perfect recipe for awkward. Sooner or later, every collegiette™ will run into a digital etiquette dilemma. Here's your ultimate guide on how to handle the trickiest "what do I do?" email, Facebook and text moments when it comes to your professional relationships. 

Email Etiquette

DO respond to every email (even when it may not seem like it needs a response).

To respond or not to respond, that is the question. I think it's safe to say that we've all received one of those emails before. You know, the ones that seem like a waste of a virtual tree to reply to with a simply "ok" or "thanks,” but you can't help but wonder what the sender is thinking when they don't get a response back from you. According to Lizzie Post, etiquette expert from the Emily Post Institute and author of How Do You Work This Life Thing?, although not every email requires a response, you should "make an effort to get back to someone who needs to know that you got their email." For instance, when scheduling an interview through email, make sure you respond that you understand when it is and where you need to be. Post also advises to "find your own emailing voice. " Instead of replying with a simple yes or no, try to include a personal note with it. For instance, if a company recently emailed you to inform you that they received your resume, reply with something like: "Thank you so much for letting me know! I met with representatives from your company last fall at our career fair, and I look forward to meeting with them again at my interview." Including something more personal than a general phrase of acknowledgement will instantly make you seem more personable (and more desirable to hire!).  It will take you all of 30 seconds to respond, and you never know what difference it could make.

DON'T address somebody directly if you don't know if they are a Mrs./ Ms./Mr./etc.

There are a few things in life that you should never take a guess on: a woman's age (let's face it), anyone's weight and whether or not somebody is a man or a woman—that goes for both in real life and cyber-space. Case in point: there are few things more awkward than addressing an email to Mr. Riggins, and arriving at your interview to find out that Mr. Riggins is really Ms. Riggins. Needless to say, “Oops.” Carol Spector, the director of career services at Emerson College, says, "You should try to get the name of a specific person for the email and when you are not sure of man or woman, you can address the email as 'good morning or good afternoon,'" without including a specific name. This tip can also come in handy with gender ambiguous names (e.g. Sam, Jesse, Taylor, etc.). When in doubt, DO NOT GUESS.

DON'T expect immediate responses to emails.

2:00 p.m.: Hey did you get my email?

3:00 p.m.: Heyy I just wanted to see if you got my first two emails.

3:02 p.m.: Email me back when you get these first 400 emails!!

While professors and friends tend to email us back almost immediately after we hit send, professionals will normally take a few days to respond (they are busy after all!). Post says, "Never go beyond the point of being comfortable that you will receive a response in time." At the risk of impetuously sending emails when you're waiting for a response, Spector recommends, "You should give the person at least three days to respond for a message. If you are sending a resume for a job, you may not hear a response for up to a week or so." After all, when they finally do respond, you don't want it to be with a virtual restraining order.

Social Networking Etiquette:

DON'T friend co-workers on Facebook.

If the question was "should you friend that creepy guy that stares at you in anthropology?", the answer would be an obvious “NO.” But the virtual lines between friend, Facebook friend and co-worker are hazy ones. Especially as a college student, Facebook may not necessarily be the best representation of you at your finest. While it may be tempting to friend all of your new co-workers (whether you simply want to creep on their profiles or just want to finally break that 1,000 friends mark), Post says, "Coming out of college, you have to decide whether you want to make your Facebook social or professional." Once you decide on maintaining a personal or professional Facebook, you'll have an easy rule of thumb for accepting and ignoring Facebook friends.