Miss Anonymous

“I never want to do that again…” Were those the first words I actually uttered after I lost my virginity? Yep. Oh wait, and let’s not forget the part where I buried my head in a pillow and cried.

 Let me flash back to about, um, maybe fifteen minutes before. I was sitting with my boyfriend of a month and a half on a couch, in his basement. For us hooking up always came naturally. The whole kissing, taking it further stuff was a strong point in our relationship. Up until that night we did the dirty deed I had been pretty at ease.

So let’s get back to the good stuff.

Lying on the couch in his basement while his parents are upstairs, I mean let’s get serious we had no alone time. We had to make due!

So while watching the Boondock Saints (yes I lost my virginity to that movie, don’t judge), he whispered in my ear, “Wanna have sex?”

"OH YES, PLEASE!"

Those three words swept me off my feet... yeah, no. But I mean, how romantic was it going to get in a basement watching two Irish men kill people? We laid down on the couch next to each other. Was this really going to happen? And here it goes. “STOP!” I knew it was going to hurt, but seriously? Here goes the five longest minutes of my life.

When it's over I pull my bottoms back on (not to mention I still own the same pair of underwear three years later). Whelp, that was sufficiently awkward.  While he probably was happy, I was throbbing with pain. At that moment I pushed my face into a pillow and cried. I think I gave my boyfriend an instant heart attack. He pulled me up from the pillow and wiped my tears away.