16 Stages of the Post-Grad Group Chat

It's finally happened. You and your group of friends have graduated. Sadly, you don't have nearly as much time to get together every Thirsty Thursday and take shots, or to wake up on Friday and still somehow make it to class, all the while texting one another about how awful everything is. Luckily for you, there's the post-graduation group chat to keep one another in each other's lives, and to bore all your college friends with the detailed minutia of your newly minted adult life. These are the 16 stages of the post-grad group chat we all know and love, as much as we wish it were an in-person rant in our dorm rooms.

1. The "we're about to graduate!" group chat creation

Before you even head off into the adult world, the group chat has to start. I mean, how else are you going to plan checking off your bucket list AND studying for finals? Say hello to the group chat!

2. The "holy crap, we're graduating"

You've been texting all month about the impending doom and now it's here: you're graduating! Expect a lot of photos in the group chat to be basically all of you in the same exact photos, just with different people's smart phones. Don't even bother checking your Snapchat after graduation ends.

3. "How are you guys?" *insert inside joke*

Graduation is barely over and you already miss them. But the group chat'll make it seem like everything's the same, right? Especially if you throw in a lot of inside jokes to remind everyone that you're not real adults...yet.

4. "I got a job!"

Yup. It's here. The inevitable first "I got the job!" Someone in the group text has moved on to being a real adult. The reactions from the other chat members range from shock to awe to "Oh, should I have been applying, too?"

5. "Being an adult sucks."

No matter what the group chat members are doing post-grad--working, grad school, Netflix and wine--you're all starting to realize how much being an adult sucks. At least Orange Is the New Black is back, right? 

6. The "Why is everyone up at 3 a.m.?"

 

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Just like you're back in college, there are inevitably those nights when you wake up every five seconds to the light of your phone. If you're the one friend who got a job, this is even more of a fresh hell. You should probably just change your notification settings already. Real adults know they don't need to check their phone every time a friend texts.

7. The first "Let's Skype or Facetime!"

You already miss each other soooo much! Wait--it's only been two days since we graduated? Facetime can fix this. Trying to organize a group video chat? We're going to be here a while.

8. The post-Skype discussion

Every funny inside joke that was born during that video chat lives on in the form of the group chat. Let's hope you weren't the one friend who was busy working at your same college waitressing gig and had to miss the entire Skype sesh. 

9. The first "Let's meet up!"

 

 

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Making plans to see all these people in person, especially if half of you live across the country, is going to be so much fun. Is this how real adults maintain their friendships? How do they do it?! We just want to walk across campus and lay down on each other's dorm room floors.

10. The post-meet-up discussion

Just like Skype, the first hangout lives on. After all, if you don't text about it afterward, it's like it didn't even happen. Bonus points if everyone in the group chat actually made it to the plans.

11. The first drunk messages

 

Oh, good! Someone in the group chat is actually drunk...without the rest of you. For the first time in four years. Whether they're alone, with wine and Disney movies, or out at a bar in the city, everyone else is going to be sick of the messages. "I'm so drunkkkk, wish you were here!" At least there'll be a record of this in case they forget what happens. 

12. "Everyone's an adult now..."

Once you reach this stage, it's because you're the only person in the group chat who seems to be dedicated to a post-grad life of watching Game of Thrones and eating pizza. You thought all your friends were down for that lifestyle, and they all promised they'd hang out and stay up late even after they got jobs, and yet, they're all mysteriously quiet in the group chat. 99% of the drunk messages are now you, telling the other chat members how much you love them every weekend. 

13. "Can we please go back to college?"

Real life is setting in. You have bills?! You have graduate school classes?! You have to wake up early for a job because you can't just schedule it to start after 11 a.m.?! Ugh! This is awful. Everyone's tired and nobody is impressed.

14. "Did you hear about...?"

Let the gossiping about fellow alumni, professors and current students commence!

15. Random emojis

If you've ever been in a group chat long enough, there's bound to be at least one bout of random emojis. You're not sure if the texter is bored, or just got a new phone and is having way too much fun. 

16. The cycle continues

The thing about the group chat that's beautiful is, with some variation, the cycle continues. Once you all have real adult responsibilities, you may not Skype every week, but you'll get together a few times a year (hopefully more!) and it will be MAGICAL. The inside jokes will be so good you'll have to make actual memes out of them. The group chat is the one place where college lives on in our hearts, and for that, we are grateful. 

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About The Author

Alaina Leary is an editor and activist in Boston. She's a social media editor for We Need Diverse Books and has an MA in publishing from Emerson College. When she's not busy playing around with words, she spends her time surrounded by her two cats and at the beach. She can often be found re-reading her favorite books, watching Gilmore Girls, and covering everything in glitter. You can find her at alainaleary.com or on Instagram and Twitter @alainaskeys.