At this point in my life I’ve proven myself to be down with a wide range of mystical practices, earning an eye roll from my little brother each time I talk about them. I have a growing collection of crystals that I charge under the full moon. I read tarot cards and know at least the sun sign of every person in my life. I’ve dabbled in yoga, meditation, and psychic readings. I even have intention oils that I swear have magical powers.
One practice that has never clicked for me is manifestation, even though it seems like everyone is manifesting all the time. Oprah manifests, my less-witchy friends manifest, business leaders talk about forms of manifestation when they don’t even know it — but no matter how many vision boards I make, or how many times I write that my crush has texted me in the present tense, my desires seem to get lost somewhere in the ether.
The thing is, I really want to be able to manifest. Simply put, manifesting is the spiritual act of turning your goals, desires, and hopes into reality. It can be done in so many different ways, and I’ve researched them all. Whether it was the law of attraction, the law of assumption, or inventor Nikola Tesla’s 3-6-9 method, I’ve tried many methods on for size, but to no avail. So, when I heard about using sex magic to manifest (thanks, TikTok), I figured I should look into that, too.
“Sex magic involves harnessing your sexual power to achieve your personal goals.”
Isabella Frappier is a pleasure mentor, sex educator, erotic anarchist, and co-host of the Sex Magic podcast. She credits sex magic with transforming her life into what it is today. “Sex magic involves harnessing your sexual power to achieve your personal goals,” she tells Her Campus. “It’s a powerful way to bring intentionality into your day-to-day life, to harness your own energetic power, and combine it with the magical beauty of animating, universal life force.”
Sex magic, it turns out, also has that extra strength you need if you’re having trouble with G-rated forms of manifesting like me. “When it comes to any form of sex, there is potent energy involved, and particularly during orgasm, there is a lot of energy released,” Frappier explains. “Sex magic channels that energy into a specific area of focus in your life.” Okay, so sex magic allows us to tap into our power, uses one of the most powerful forms of energy… and it involves sex? How exactly does one get started with the practice?
If you want to try it for yourself, Frappier recommends that you begin solo, though sex magic can also be practiced with a partner. “One of the most potent ways to expedite your goals is through mindful masturbation,” Frappier tells Her Campus. “Write down one goal on a piece of paper and lay it on your chest or stomach, facing you, then engage in your personal pleasure practice. Start with sensation-focused practices, and once you’re starting to get in the zone, let your mind wander to your goal. Visualize how it would look and feel for it to be already a reality, and allow yourself to enjoy the feeling of its fruition, without any judgements or questions of how to get there.” You don’t have to orgasm, but Frappier says that “the explosive energetic power of your orgasm can really launch your manifestation out into the universe like a catapult!” and I will never think about orgasms the same way again.
“Mindful masturbation and sex magic don’t need to be complicated or intimidating.”
Like so many spiritual (and self-pleasure) practices, you should also follow your intuition and do what feels best for you. You can get elaborate with it; some people carve their intentions onto candles which they light during their ceremonies, while others might involve their favorite essential oils. You can even buy crystal sex toys to help you, um, cast your spell. Basically, with sex magic, you can go big or go small. According to Frappier, “there are many beautiful ways you can utilize your energy when masturbating, and mindful masturbation and sex magic don’t need to be complicated or intimidating. One can start with something as simple as breathwork, prioritizing pleasure, and setting intentions for your practice.”
While masturbation can be a powerful way of manifesting, using sex magic might look slightly different from your normal routine. “When most of us reach for our trusty vibrator or fleshlight, we are not thinking too much about what we are doing and why,” Frappier tells Her Campus. “Are you aware of your potent sexual power? Are you able to harness your orgasmic energy to create momentum in other areas of your life? Or are you turning your vibe on and your brain off?”
She brings up a good point, and if I’m being honest, this is probably my trouble with all forms of manifestation. They’re not meant to be passive or mindless. Manifesting asks you to get clear on your intentions, match their vibration, and recognize your power — all three feats that are much easier said than done. Manifesting using sex magic also happens to be about pleasure. In a society where people with vulvas are shamed for prioritizing their sexual pleasure or even feeling it, sex magic is revolutionary in more ways than one.
“When most of us reach for our trusty vibrator or fleshlight, we are not thinking too much about what we are doing and why.”
Plus, there’s a lot on the other side of it. “Mindful masturbation and sex magic manifestation combined have completely transformed my life!” Frappier says. “These tools helped me get clear on my life purpose and create the deliciously fulfilling life I have today.” Before sex magic, Frappier shares, “I used to work a fairly mundane (to me) job, I was faking my orgasms, had largely unfilling sexual/romantic relationships, as well as friendships, and had massive issues with my body image. Now I love my life so much! I make 10 times what I used to, and I do work I absolutely love every single day. I’ve been with the partner of my dreams for the past six years, I love my body and have exquisite pleasure every day.”
Basically, if you like to manifest (or masturbate), there’s no reason not to give sex magic a try. It can be a super powerful way to connect with yourself and bring some much-wanted change into your life. Start with one goal and see how it works for you. Vision boards down, vibrators on.