You might remember me from my college days as HC’s Real Live College Guy, where I advised on picking up college guys, detecting cheaters and what never to talk about with a guy among many other pressing college guy-related issues. Well now I’m a grad student—a law school student. Though love and law are feared by everyone, I’ll put down the memo pad for a moment to continue sharing my wisdom to help collegiettes everywhere with slightly older guys and their love life (not legal) dilemmas.
What do grad student guys think about marriage? Are they looking for a girl they could marry when they date girls, or are they still freaked out about marriage the way college guys are? – Hankering to get Hitched at Hartford
Putting aside the GSG’s that accidentally have children, got hitched in Vegas, or were arranged by Yente, marriage is no hot topic among GSG’s. Guys in different grad schools approach it differently though.
Medical and Law GSG’s are busy—very busy. They are definitely not thinking about marriage right now. Unless they’re still with their college or even high school sweetheart, they are just too darn busy to worry about marriage. With almost 60 hours of school-related work every week, not including interviews, friends, and activities, they savor the few minutes they have off. That precious time needs to be spent wisely and pursuing a marriage is not really all that time efficient. Most of these GSG’s are planning on waiting ‘til they settle down with a nice job in a nice city before they find that nice girl. But don’t think they are freaked out by the idea; they’ve thought about it maturely. Especially since most GSG’s have been to friends’ weddings and are slowly being surrounded by couples. Thus, GSG’s have no problem telling you how they feel. I wouldn’t de-pin the M-grenade on the first date, but if you are really curious, he’ll be more than happy to quite frankly explain how he feels. A friend of mine once put it, “Unless you’re an Orthodox Jew, any law student in their 20’s is not even considering marriage.” So unless your question was actually meant to be about Orthodox Jews… you have your answer.
Business GSG’s have some time off to look around. Business GSG’s love going out and having a good time. It is almost part of the curriculum. Most of them have worked before school, and almost all have a pretty distinct idea about their future careers. This knowledge and time gives them the opportunity to look for the one. While not necessarily actively pursuing marriage, these GSG’s in their late 20’s will definitely have it on the horizon a year or two into a relationship. Again though, GSG’s in general are waiting on marriage, especially while still having fun in school and lacking the real need to settle down right now.
Is it weird to invite a grad school guy over to my dorm? Either just to hang out, or hang out with my friends, or hook up/stay over? I mean if I’m dating or starting to date a grad school guy, should I not invite him over because he would feel weird? – Dormie at Depauw
To GSG’s there is something “perversely attractive” about going back to an Undie’s room as my roommate once put it. However, he is going to feel a bit weird about it. The sheer nostalgia of the beer-stained carpets and inspirational posters is something GSG’s all miss, but the following morning after a hook-up he may be a little uneasy. He’ll be uneasy with the memories of college and the hopeful wish that he has matured from his sketchy days, so try and make the situation as little like college as possible. Don’t just throw him out as the sun rises, but take him up on his offer for breakfast. Alleviate the weirdness.
GSG’s would appreciate it if you really didn’t invite him into your room to “hang out” with other Undies. If he is there, try and make it special time with him—and only him. He won’t mind watching a movie or playing games with you, but once he gets pegged by your friends as creepy, he’ll be uncomfortable. No GSG ever wants to be in a position to feel like that pedophilic old guy stuck in the undergraduate realm. If you want your friends to meet him, go to a more public and less awkward place for your GSG.
On that note, if there is someone living in your room with you, don’t even bother inviting him over. He’ll hate that. Some GSG’s can’t even remember living with someone else, and they won’t be comfortable with any sexiling. If you live in a suite and you have your own single, it will be better. As noted before though, he still does not ever want to be “pegged” by your friends (or roommates) as that creepy guy. So try and avoid any late night encounters between your GSG and anyone else. GSG’s would absolutely hate meeting some naked drunken fraternity bro on the way to your suite’s shared bathroom, so try and prevent that from happening.