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Sex + Relationships

Real Live College Guy Pat: Why Did My Hook-Up Stop Responding?

If you looked up “hopeless romantic” in the dictionary, Real Live College Guy Pat would be standing there smiling and waving back to you. As a college guy himself, Pat has witty opinions on all the stupid situations guys seem to end up in. From relationships, to friends with benefits, to altogether lacks thereof, Real Live College Guy Pat has all your answers and more!

I met this guy at a Halloween party and really hit it off with him. He was funny, cute, and we just seemed to really get along. The party ended but we didn't want the night to end just yet so we walked to his dorm across campus and stayed up all night watching the sunrise (cue romantic music). We woke up spooning and continued to cuddle all morning until I finally had to leave. The next night I came over again and the same thing happened, nothing but hugging each other all night. Then a couple days after he came over my room and we started drinking and got very giggly, laid down in my bed and commenced hooking up. We did "everything but..." and he seemed to be really, really into me the next morning because we kept going until he had to leave. He then just slowly stopped responding to my texts and then stopped responding at all. I haven't seen him much around campus and I know he's super busy but I'm so confused as to what happened. Everyone who knows him only has great things to say about him, so why did he just blow me off without even giving me a clear reason as to why? - Resigned at Ramapo College


You got played. It’s as simple as that. Everyone had nice things to say about him? Doesn’t matter. Every guy is capable of it. From a guy’s perspective, this doesn’t make him a jerk (although it doesn’t exactly make him Mr. Perfect, either), it just means that he wanted to hook up with you. There was never any commitment. It was simply two people having a seemingly great time together and then it ended. Because there was no actual commitment or agreement, he didn’t feel the need to explain himself to you. You simply got played.

It sounds like he did everything right (Mr. Romantic, dressed in some bright, shiny armor mixed with a touch of chivalry) to sweep you off your feet quickly. He waited and didn’t rush and ultimately got the prize he was waiting for. Even though you didn’t sleep together, the hook-up was enough for him and he was on his way. Based on the details you’ve provided, there’s no other explanation that I can give you.

If you’re not convinced he would just walk out this way, then look at other possible contributing factors. Is he recently single and not over an ex? Despite being a nice guy, does he have a history of hooking up with people? Are there family or personal problems he’s going through, like a fight with a friend or failing a class? It may seem silly, but sometimes the simplest problems in people’s lives make them act in ways they normally wouldn’t. If you really think he wouldn’t use you, look into this.

Seriously though, this only lasted about a week. While it seemingly meant a lot to you, a week really isn’t a long time. It’s very possible he didn’t even think once about any sort of future with you, whether that future contained a relationship, a “friends with benefits” type of situation, or a simple friendship at all. You met at a party where, as guys, we’re probably only there if we want to hook up, then went home and hooked up. To me, it sounds like nothing more than a classic case of taking her home and never calling her again. Don’t take it too personally; just be aware of it for next time if this isn’t what you want, because on a Saturday night, it’s probably the best you’re going to get.

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Pat is a Junior at Merrimack College in North Andover, MA studying Psychology and Communications. Pat plans on pursuing a Master's degree upon graduation, but after that his future plans lie unknown on a blank page, much like his next article. When asked what he wants to do "when he grows up", he simply replies "Make a difference in the world." Pat is a contributing writer for his college's newspaper, The Beacon, and has his own blog. He also openly admits to having read the entire Twilight series and that The Notebook is one of his all time favorite movies. In his spare time, Pat is a diehard Boston Red Sox fan, loves the game of basketball, all things Harry Potter, and enjoying what little free time he can squeeze out of a day. Readers can follow Pat via Twitter at @patbradley99
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