Desperately trying to understand the inscrutable mind of the college male? Real Live College Guy Joel (replete with a name way cooler than those of RLCGs Joe and Joey) is here to help you out, call you out, write you a poem to show you’re great and to stop worrying, etc. From major emotional drama to the minutiae of social interaction, use him as your one-stop shop for guy advice.
I had sex with an older guy and now he’s telling EVERYONE. Is there any way I can tell him that I’d prefer him to not tell people or am I better off just ignoring the situation?- Stuck in the Rumor Mill at Syracuse
Stuck in the Rumor Mill,
This experience must be really embarrassing. It’s always difficult to have private business talked about flippantly, especially when a guy you trusted is doing the story telling. That being said, have you been forced to wear a scarlet letter or chased off campus with pitchforks? Do you think anyone thinks significantly less of you because of the experience? In the environment of a secular, contemporary college campus, I don’t think so.
I have found that in these situations most people label the guy doing the storytelling as a creep before the girl gets labeled as a slut. If you’re worried about your reputation, don’t be. The only people who really matter are your friends, and they will take your side. Some guys talk. Just accept that and try to steer clear of this type again.
You’re in an unfair and maddening situation but you should just let things be. People hook up. This isn’t a big deal. This guy’s story is not particularly exciting right now. But it could be if you tried to confront him or retaliate. Don’t give him any ammunition to talk about you again. Just keep your distance from him and don’t say anything. This will blow over in no time.