Tired of having to sort out the “nice guys” from the “bad boys”? Want to move up from one-night stand to full-time girlfriend, but unsure of how to do so? Stop worrying, because Real Live College Guy Dale is finally here to help with all of your collegiette love kerfuffles and help steer you clear of any unnecessary drama during your brief but ever-important time in college.
I was at a frat party on Saturday, and I hooked up with the same guy all night. We danced and talked and made out for hours. At the end of the night, he gave me his number. I texted him the day after at 10 p.m., so about 24 hours after the party, and it took him an hour to respond. All he said was: “cool.” Do you think I will ever hear from him again? I thought we connected… but now I think he wasn’t serious about wanting to hear from me again. What do you think? – Frat Hook-up at Furman
Your first mistake was going to a frat party, Bambi. If there’s a perfect hot spot for gross party activity, it’s the stereotypical college frat party. I’ve seen a lot of parents warn their daughters of the dangers of these parties, and I think their fears are warranted—at least, for the most part. Frat parties can foster bowls of who-knows-how-many types of alcohol mixed together, illicit substances and probably more than a few stained sheets. While not every party may be this way, movies and television shows don’t pull these stereotypes out of thin air.
You can’t turn back the clock now, though; you’ve made your bed, and now you have to lie in it (but that doesn’t mean you can’t take a long, hot shower and steam clean those memories away).
You got played, Furman—there’s no other way to put it. I’m not sure if you’re a freshman or not, but you made the classic freshman mistake of thinking a drunk guy at a party actually cared. I think this particular guy found someone he thought was an easy target, and he took the dive. When a guy you hook up with at a party takes a while to respond, and upon responding, replies with a simple, “cool,” I think it’s pretty clear that he has either forgotten your name or just wanted a one-night stand… or both. Either way, I don’t think he was serious about wanting to hear from you again. Men say the darndest things when they’re trying to hook up with someone…
It’s a rookie mistake, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of or be embarrassed about. If anything, Furman, it should be a learning experience. Now you know to avoid frat guys like the plague! Or at least consult with your girlfriends before hooking up with one, because more often than not, the guys you meet at parties (of many kinds) aren’t going to be the ones you want to date. Unless you go into these situations with the sole expectation of hooking up and heading out, I don’t think you should bother wasting your time on the jerks you’ll find at parties.