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Real Live College Guy Andy: How Soon Is Too Soon To Sleep With A Guy?

Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the “boys will be boys” conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.

How early is too early to sleep with a guy once you’ve started dating? That is if you would like it to end up being something serious, and not just a hook-up. – Boyless at Brandeis


So you’re worried that by sleeping with him too soon, it will make him think of you as only a hook-up. However, this is making the assumption that when a guy hooks up with a girl, he only wants something casual. But I’m a self-confessed hopeless romantic who enjoys sex, and I’ve even had sex on a first date and stayed very much interested in a relationship with the girl after we hooked up.

As the saying goes, “it takes two to tango” so any guy who throws a girl under the bus (and probably labeling her a “sl*t” in the process) for hooking up with them on a first date is 100% hypocritical. If a guy labels a girl in this way after a first date hook-up, he ought to look in the mirror. How can a guy in this situation think the girl isn’t girlfriend material but think that he did nothing wrong?

Point to be had is any guy who thinks about casting off a girl as not relationship material for putting out too soon is indeed scum and not worth your time.

There is absolutely no reason that two consenting adults can’t go out on a first date, hit it off, have sex that night, and then maturely ask how they both feel about each other in the morning. The next day, either party can simply say to the other, “Hey, I had a great time last night, I’m not normally the hook-up type, so if you’re interested in genuinely dating, let me know.”

If a guy treats you differently because of how fast the two of you hooked up, he’s not the right guy for you. My advice is to not worry about when you sleep with a guy and just do what feels right.

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Andrew Bensch

San Francisco

Andrew is a rising senior at San Francisco State University majoring in broadcast journalism. While he hopes to some day work in the sports media industry, becoming a professional columnist for a women's magazine is also on his radar. While in college Andrew has contributed sports columns to such sites like Foxsports.com, Insidehockey.com, and Bleacherreport.com. But don't be fooled, he isn't just your typical jock, after all he is willing to admit he actually loves chick flicks like "27 Dresses" "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" and "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". He also enjoys shows like "The OC", "One Tree Hill", "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" and "Teen Wolf" and wonders aloud why more college men don't open up about their love for these types of programs.