Summer has a magical element to it. The days are long, the air is sweet, the sun is shining, the energy is bustling, and is it just me, or does everyone look cuter this time of year? Whether you’re on summer break from college or simply looking to make the most of these warmer months, now is the perfect time for a sexy whirlwind romance free of hassles, commitment, and drama. Fortunately, there are a few “do’s and don’ts” that can help you find a fun, passionate, exciting summer romance that you won’t forget. Read on for tips on how to have a summer fling this year.
1. DO get rid of that old flame who has been holding you back.
Whether it’s an ex-boyfriend you keep returning to reluctantly or a love interest that just doesn’t seem to be a good match, now may be the time to do away with anything — and anyone — who may be holding you back from having a carefree summer fling. It may be uncomfortable, but don’t be afraid to let stale romances fade. It can only create more room for you to explore other possibilities. Nicole, a student at the University of Pittsburgh, did exactly that with someone she was seeing over the summer. “I wasted half the summer before I realized that we were just stringing each other along with no future in sight,” Nicole tells Her Campus. “[Dating] was fun for a little, especially during the boring winter months, but I knew it was time to end it when I looked at all my friends meeting new guys and having fun.” This summer, try not to keep anyone around who’s dragging you down. Trust that there are always other opportunities out there!
2. DO finally make a move on the person you’ve had your eye on for a while.
We all have that one person who has always caught our attention, but for some reason, things have never gone too far beyond, “Hey, how’s it going?” According to Molly, a student at Duquesne University, there’s no better time than summer to change that. She had always been a little nervous and hesitant to get too close to Tim* until one hot night in June when she found herself hanging out with friends on his back porch.
“We were talking, listening to music, and the weather was perfect,” she tells Her Campus. “I decided that there wasn’t ever going to be a better time or place to put myself out there, so I finally hinted that I was interested in him. It paid off because we definitely took our relationship to a new level after that!”
Summertime is an ideal time for relaxation, and it can also be the perfect time to let go of your nerves, be brave, and put yourself out there. Who knows — there could be someone out there right now who is just waiting for you to make the first move.
3. DO go out with someone who isn’t your usual “type.”
When it comes to dating, it can sometimes feel intimidating to go after someone who isn’t your usual “type.” You may be used to falling for someone with a specific style or personality, but to be fair, what even is a “type” anyway?! People are complex, and you don’t want to write someone off as a summer fling just because they don’t appear to fit a certain bill. This summer, don’t be afraid to go out with someone who isn’t your usual type — we all saw how well it turned out for Allie and Noah in The Notebook, didn’t we? It can be fun and exciting to step outside of your comfort zone a little every now and then, and you may find that you’re pleasantly surprised when you do.
4. DO use the warm weather to your advantage.
This may seem obvious, but don’t forget to take advantage of the summer heat and the opportunity for outdoor adventures! Instead of sticking to your standard Netflix and chill (which can also be a great time, no judgment here), try going on a fun outdoor date together. Think drive-in movies, outdoor bars or breweries, hiking, kayaking, stargazing, or even taking a day trip somewhere for a change of pace and scenery. Spending time together outdoors can be a totally different bonding experience than staying indoors for your typical movie night, so grab your summer fling and go on an adventure that’ll shake things up. On a sexier note, higher temperatures can make for hotter hook-ups — maybe you get a little frisky in the park or take a nice (skinny) dip in the lake together.
5. DO keep things a little mysterious.
If you’re lounging around by the pool or having a boring day at work, it can be tempting to pull out your cell phone and text your summer fling for some idle conversation: “Hey, what are you doing?” or “Work is so slow today!” If this sounds like you, no judgment — we’ve all been there. Casual texting over the summer may seem totally harmless, but staying in constant contact with your summer fling can sometimes zap the mystery out of the relationship, and when you do finally get to hang out in-person, you may not have much to talk about since you’ve already told each other about your entire days! Keeping each other guessing can keep things exciting, so let the person wonder what you’re doing all day. Then, they’ll be anticipating the moment when they finally hear from you.
6. DON’T blow off group outings in favor of alone time.
During the winter months, it’s pretty acceptable to hole up over the weekend for a few lazy movie nights. After all, it’s cold outside, you likely have a ton of schoolwork hanging over your head, and half the time you’re too tired from studying all week to do much else. However, summer is a time where you’re encouraged to let loose and be more social. Instead of spending extensive time alone, try going out in groups and spending time with your friends. Not only will your summer fling be excited to meet your friends (and vice versa), but after a night out with a bunch of people, they’ll be even more excited to get some one-on-one time with you.
7. DON’T have long-term expectations.
This one can definitely be tricky. Be sure to set realistic expectations for your summer fling — which, I would argue, is to be yourself and have fun with the person. While it’s completely fine (and celebrated!) to be open to the possibilities of where things could go, you don’t want to get caught stressing or trying to drive the summer fling toward a certain outcome. After all, that would dull the excitement and defeat the purpose! Summer flings are all about chemistry, mutual respect, and the recognition that things are most likely short-term — while remaining open to the fact that hey, things could totally change in the future. You can always wait until the end of the summer before you think about if you want to keep things going in the fall — but for now, just have fun!
8. DON’T feel pressured to DTR.
Remember, summer is all about relaxation and enjoying life, so don’t feel like you need to define the relationship or have everything figured out just yet. Instead of stressing over what your relationship status on Facebook should be, just enjoy spending time with your person. Allow the relationship to naturally progress, and as the summer winds down, you’ll most likely have a clearer idea of where things are heading.
Kayle, an alumna from Kent State University, did exactly that and couldn’t be happier with how things turned out. “I met Justin* at a bar at the beginning of last summer and immediately fell for him,” she tells Her Campus. “We never really had a discussion about exclusivity or ‘dating’ or anything; all we knew is that we loved spending time together. Once the school year rolled around, it was natural for us to be around each other and everything just felt right. We eventually made things official, but there was never any forced ‘what are we?’ talk. I feel like if there would have been, it would have just put unnecessary pressure on both of us.”
Remember, whether you’re hooking up with someone new or testing the waters to see if the cutie you met has feelings for you, too, the most important “do” of any summer fling is to have fun! Try out these tips and get ready for your hottest, most unforgettable summer yet.
Nicole, University of Pittsburgh
Mollie, Duquesne University
Kayle, Kent State University
*Names have been changed.