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Sex + Relationships

How Girls Flirt: Our Tips & Tricks

Maybe you bat your eyelashes, you play with your hair, or you wink flirtatiously when you’re with a cute guy. Well, no matter what your flirting style, we have the top flirting tips so that you can finally start a cute conversation with that guy from your psych class.

Lock eyes across the room

If you want to talk to a guy at a party, you have to be approachable. That means not standing in a crowd of your girlfriends the entire night, and making sure you look at the guy so he knows you’re interested.

“The main complaint I get from college guys is that women get all dressed up and then they leave their smiles and fun attitude at home,” says Dating Coach Christine Hart. “Start with eye contact, then eye contact with a subtle smile, [and] then just simply say hi.” After you start a conversation, Hart suggests complimenting the guy to make him feel more relaxed and ease the tension of the conversation.

If you want to be extra flirty when making eye contact, bat your lashes, suggests Dr. Patrick Wanis, a human behavior and relationship expert. You’ll already be flirting before you even start talking.

Use the “3 second smile” rule

Patti Feinstein, known as America’s Dating Coach, calls this move the “one, two, three smile.” She suggests looking at your guy for three seconds, flashing a sexy smile, and then looking away.

For an even flirtier look, Dr. Wanis suggests licking your lips subtly while maintaining eye contact. You’ll definitely leave him wanting more.

Twirl your hair around your finger

This may sound like the oldest trick in the book, but Feinstein and Dr. Wanis both swear by it. It’s a classic flirty move and will definitely let the guy know you’re interested in him.

Touch his arm during conversation

It’s easy to make this move too exaggerated and overdone, but if you touch your guy’s arm playfully during conversation, it will go a long way. “Being playful and mildly suggestive can also be appropriate, if your prior advances have been well-received,” says Mary Waldon, a psychotherapist who specializes in dialectical behavior therapy.

Your guy will want to be in more physical contact with you and continue the flirty conversation—just make sure you’re not being too physically suggestive too fast, or you might freak the guy out. “The key to flirting is less is more,” Waldon says.

Send him a flirty (but not too sexy!) text

“After our second date, I texted a guy a smiley face right after he dropped me off,” says Alicia*, a senior at UNC. “It was flirty without being too desperate, and it let him know I had a great time with him.”

Don’t send too many texts or Facebook messages, though—you want to seem cute, not clingy. And, of course, stay away from sexting. “Texting nude photos, extremely provocative and sexually explicit texts or emails can really get a girl into trouble,” Waldon says. “Digital images are incredibly easy to distribute and can go viral in a heartbeat.”

Ask him to help you with class assignments

You should never pretend to be less smart than you are, but if the guy you’re after is in one of your classes, you have an automatic excuse to talk to him. If you see him on Facebook or Google Chat during class, send him a cute, quick message suggesting he pay more attention. Then, start a conversation after class is over—ask if he’s ready for the midterm. You could even suggest studying together at a coffee shop. You’ll be getting work done and flirting with your guy.


Now that you have our tried and true tricks, collegiettes, we want to hear from you. What flirting tips have worked in your experience? Let us know in the comments section.

*Names have been changed

Meghan is a senior at UNC-Chapel Hill studying classics and English. She has interned at Girls' Life and Parenting magazines and was a Collegiate Correspondent with USA TODAY in Spring 2012. Meghan loves all things entertainment related and plans to move to New York and work for a national magazine after graduating in May 2013.
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