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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Guys Weigh In: How to Score a Second Date

From the pre-date butterflies you get when trying on what feels like a million different outfits to finally sitting down and getting to know your date a little bit better, a first date is full of exciting (and even nerve-racking) moments as you think about what to say, what to do and what he’s thinking.

Once the date is over, the highlights of your night race through your mind as you suddenly wonder if he had the same great experience that you did. Did he really think your jokes were funny, or were those pity laughs? Should you have ordered that dessert?  Is there a second date in your future?

Stop worrying! HC asked guys to weigh in on the first-date moves that leave them wanting more.

1. Take initiative

Have you ever had your phone glued to your hand after a first date, waiting for him to text you? Save yourself the stress and don’t be afraid to make the first move, collegiettes!

“It’s super cool when girls don’t just wait for you to make a move, whether it’s hooking up or even just sending that first text after the date,” says Alex, a sophomore at the University of Delaware.

When James, a junior at Trinity College, had a busy day after an awesome date the night before, he was excited to see that the girl he went out with texted him to let him know she had a great time.

“I was so happy that she had a good time and that she let me know it,” he says. “A lot of girls seem to think that I’ll think they’re clingy if they make the first move, so it’s great to see a girl who’s confident in herself.”

Nobody likes to play the waiting game – guys included – so don’t be nervous about letting him know that you enjoyed your date!

2. Be yourself

It may sound obvious, but the guys we interviewed all agree that their best dates happen with someone who is upfront about who they are: likes, dislikes and everything in between.

When Harry, a junior at Colgate University, was on a first date, he mentioned that he was a huge baseball fan. The way his date reacted surprised him and immediately convinced him to ask her out again the next weekend.

“She looked me straight in the eye and said, ‘When I watch baseball on TV, I think it’s so boring because I have no idea what’s going on,’” he says. “But then she went on to say that she would like to go to a game because it would a fun way to hang out with someone and learn about the sport. I liked that she didn’t lie about her interest and offered to get involved anyway.” 

As long as you’re respectful about your opinions, having conflicting interests or opinions can make for an even better, more interesting date conversation. Pretending to be interested in something that you’re not or vice versa will not only hurt your relationship if it progresses, but will probably be noticed by your date.

“It’s so obvious when a girl is putting on an act about something she cares about or doesn’t like,” says Mike, a sophomore at the University of Delaware. “I don’t want to date my twin, so there’s no reason why someone should say she likes or dislikes everything I do. I see right through that.”

3. Dig in at the dinner table

Whether you’re going to a restaurant, the movies, an arcade or a sporting event, if part of your date plans include a meal, don’t be afraid to eat in front of your date. In fact, if you decline, he’s probably not going to understand why.

“I can’t stand when I take a girl out for a meal and she doesn’t eat or just picks at a side salad,” says Adam, a senior at Lehigh University. “If we plan to get a meal and then she doesn’t eat, it makes me think she’s too self-conscious. Everyone’s nervous on a first date, but confidence is important. Why would I want to go out with someone who can’t be herself around me?”

It’s important that you’re comfortable on a first date. So while your guy may expect you to eat at dinner, don’t be afraid to speak up if he wants to do something that’s outside of your comfort zone.  For example, if you’re a vegetarian and he’s suggesting his favorite steak house, he’ll totally understand if you speak up and let him know you don’t eat meat.

4. Be adventurous

There’s no reason to do anything that will make you uncomfortable, but don’t be afraid to take a risk and do something off the first-date beaten path!

Luke, a sophomore at Hofstra University, says he loves when a girl is game to do something a little more fun than the typical dinner date. He also adds that if you’re on a more active date, you should get involved with the activity! “I took a girl to an amusement park once, and she wouldn’t go on any rides because she didn’t want to mess up her hair,” Luke says. “If you’re too high maintenance to enjoy the date, the first date will definitely be the last.”

Sitting back and watching your date have fun isn’t going to result in a fun first date for either of you, so get involved!

5. Leave your cell phone to the side

Let your friends know you’ll be unavailable for a couple of hours and keep your phone in your bag. Spending your date scrolling through Instagram, tweeting or texting makes you look uninterested and rude.

“There is nothing worse than trying to get to know someone and not even making eye contact because they’re staring at their phone all night,” says Frankie, a senior at the University of Maryland.

Use these tips to score that second date – without the stress of wondering how it went! No matter what you’re doing, be yourself and be enthusiastic about what you’re doing. Enjoy your first (and second!) dates, collegiettes! 

Abby is a University of Delaware graduate with a degree in English. Along with writing for Her Campus as an entertainment blogger, she has interned in the editorial departments of Cosmopolitan and Us Weekly. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram!