From lovers’ destiny in Serendipity to instant connections on Married at First Sight and now the “perfect matches” in the most recent season of Are You The One? on Netflix, the idea of twin flames has been a part of TV shows and Hollywood for years. In Are You The One Season 6, which was added to Netflix on May 1, 22 singles were placed in a house together to try and find their “perfect match” among the cast. But are perfect matches or soulmates real?
The matches were determined by the producers’ matchmaking algorithm, which consists of in-depth interviews, surveys, and compatibility testing. In the environment of Are You The One?, the couples are not faced with the conditions of the real world, such as temptation, social media, and real-life conflicts like work and family issues, which allows them to create a relationship faster. It’s easier to think someone is your perfect match when you don’t have to take into consideration how they fit into your life when it comes to goals for the future, how they interact with your family and friends, or if they live near you. So, what happens when the cameras turn off or they’re faced with the reality of life? There have only been nine successful relationships outside of the show once the cameras stopped rolling.
Gen Z grew up in an age where rom-coms made you believe your soulmate or perfect partner was out there — the Troy to your Gabriella or the Allie to your Noah, if you will. But, when the partner you thought would be yours didn’t work out, one sentence was always the response: “Don’t worry, there’s so many fish in the sea.”
From online dating to reality dating shows like Are You The One?, the dating world of today has so many possibilities. Also, there are countless layers to a connection that make it even more complicated. You can connect on an emotional level, intellectual level, physical chemistry, and in some cases, a spiritual level. That said, Are You The One? raises one question: Do perfect matches actually exist like in the rom-coms we grew up watching, or are there really “so many fish in the sea” to choose from?
Perfect matches are an outcome in a relationship, not a specific person.
In relationships, you often strive to find “the one,” but the idea of “the one” is unattainable without building a strong foundation for a relationship first. Good relationships are built on compatibility and connection. There isn’t “the one” out there for you, but rather a person you are compatible with. And when you guys come together in a relationship, you can sculpt them into being “the one” for you for the future.
Rori Sassoon, relationship expert and co-owner of matchmaking service Platinum Poire, tells Her Campus, “The world is perfectly imperfect. Perfect matches exist in the movies, but you can choose to find your perfect tailored match in real life. When you are with the person that you love and cherish, they will feel like your perfect match. That perfect match can take time to mold into someone you could spend the rest of your life with. It doesn’t have to be an instantaneous love at first sight situation. You can grow into a perfect match.” Your perfectly-tailored partner can be someone you’ve known for years or someone you just met — it all depends how easy it is to build the ideal relationship.
There is not just one “perfect match” for you.
According to Insider, your relationship is a perfect match when you’re able to accept one another’s flaws. On top of accepting flaws, you’re comfortable around each other in both public spaces and when you’re alone, and you have a gut feeling that they are a good match for you.
Sassoon agrees that many people can have the characteristics and personality traits that you are looking for in a partner. This means that multiple people can be your perfect match. Sassoon says, “You have to do the work on yourself, and your perfect match may find you when you are relationship-ready — ready to give just as much as you’re ready to receive.” Your partner is your perfect match when effort is being given on both sides and you have fostered a stable relationship for the future.
Furthermore, you can have multiple “perfect” relationships in your lifetime. Sassoon explains, “Think about a perfectly happy couple, wherein one of the partners passes away. The widow or widower may find someone who fits into their lives seamlessly. Different phases of life can call for multiple “perfect” matches. What you are looking for in a partner may change as you progress into who you are as a person.” For example, when you’re in college, your needs may be someone to spend time with and be a support system during those years. After college, those needs may change to a partner that would be a good parent or has like-minded ideals when it comes to careers and finances.
A perfect match is not someone out there already made for you, but rather someone who fits into your life. Once you guys come together, you’re investing in one another and putting in the time and energy that creates a “perfect” relationship. So, yes, perfect matches do exist, but they aren’t scientifically made for you, or even just one person — they are someone who fulfills the needs you are longing for currently and for the future. The couples of Are You The One? might have found their “perfect match” out of the pool of contestants on the show, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other possible partners out there for them that are just as compatible.